Grateful Reflection

Our friends are visiting so I won't be writing much of a post until around tonight or tomorrow morning, but wanted to write a little something.

Labyrinth at Santa Fe NM Native American Museum

Being grateful for what one has is important; it keeps self pity away but even more....it reminds us just how very fortunate we really are.  Especially when times are tough.

Some people think that sounds ridiculous, being grateful when things are difficult, but it really can work.  We've been going through a few things-as has everybody-and there are two ways to handle it all; constructive or destructive. Pro-active or De-active.

I prefer the former, positive spin. Although to deny a few days on the pity pot would be an outright lie.
I'm very good at it, self pity.  I'm probably some sort of world record holder for being able to climbing into a martyr jag. And I can really hang on to it, too!  But it never got me anywhere.

Looking back, something was watching over me...but otherwise my life wasn't really progressing until that day when it started to change.  No, I'm not going to go into one of those 12 stepper stories about this, that and the other thing....anybody who's been reading this blog knows some of the excuses I used for my binge days.

Suffice to say....one booze-hazed early morning I saw myself in the mirror and was not impressed at the sallow faced, empty-eyed being that stared back at me.  I've never been one for make-up, mirrors or anything but have always tried to be presentable; but the creature's reflection in the glass looked like one of those red nosed, bloated, weathered wino I'd seen in the alleys and slums of San Fancisco and Los Angeles....not to mention Philly and all other cities of personal note.

For some reason, at that moment I was ready to climb up out of that ditch.  It wasn't easy and I still sometimes have to fight those urges to overindulge when the going gets too tough.  I can drink socially, and even have the occasional sip-like when I was baking with bourbon for the holidays, but I know not to let it get out of hand. There are rules of the road like do not drink when depressed and, as luck would have it my stomach isn't so forgiving anymore and forces me to stop after only 2 or 3 shots of bourbon, and I don't like anything else.  Even wine gives me headaches these days, though in the thrilling days of yesteryear I must have helped keep them in business.

These days it's more about faith than fifths.  I am grateful for all things, good and difficult in this life. Including the ability to feel the strain of the climb....I know the view at the top will be incredible!

So for today, Fifty Five is all about Grateful Reflection...the person in the mirror and what lies underneath, just waiting to be discovered. I am grateful for having the opportunity to make that discovery new each day.