Holly Day

December 25, 2010....Christmas.

Christmas Ball  rcw

Is it politically correct to even call it that?  We are living in a strange time, when it is not acceptable to have manger scenes and Christmas Carols are considered barely appropriate, and only under certain settings.
What happened?
How did it get this way?
Can you imagine, trying to perform something like Handel's Messiah in the current mode?  What would it be like?   "For undo us a child is born; unto us a unisex child is given...."  or  "I know that my personal source for Higher Power liveth."  How moving!
I still love it the old way and don't see the harm in wishing everybody a Merry Christmas!  Heck, I wish 'em Happy Kwanza, Happy Solstice, Happy Hannukah  and whatever else comes down the pike!  And will always do so!
Take that, Ebinezer Politico!

For today Fifty Five Is The New Holly Day....December 25....Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas

Christmas Card 2008 by rcw

Some things just have to be as they are....Christmas is one of them.  How ever politically incorrect it might be, and regardless of whom I may offend, I offer sincerest good wishes of the season and the most blessed things in the coming New Year! 

This drawing was my holiday card for 2008...created in CorelDRAW X3 and Corel Photo Paint X3.  It was made during a very difficult time; Jack was away, money was tighter than a pair of spanks and I wasn't sure what was going to happen next.

What I did know was that things had to get better and that I just had to hang in there long enough for the change to take place.   So I kept busy doing creative things...which, as it turns out is the best thing a person can do when faced with dire, ridiculous situations.

As it turned out, being creative kept me sane...kept me from cracking under immense pressure...and kept me focused on the Moment rather than on all the What Ifs that tend to keep us awake on long, cold, worry-filled nights. Rather than suffer, I took advantage of the opportunity to create and totally steeped myself in my muses.

But anyway...it's Christmas Eve!  We're going to celebrate the holiday with Jack's family a little later today!  It'll be a lot of fun!  Those folks sure know how to party and are all quite accomplished in the cooking department.  Family is important, especially this time of year.  And I'm grateful that at long last we have some West Coast people we can call our own.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Merry Christmas...Happy holidays, seasons' greetings, Shalom, Kwaanza, Eid and so on!  What ever ya got, have a good one!

Day Before The Day Before

I'm going to really relax after this holiday rush!  But in the meantime, I'm caught up in a whirlwind and can't write much.  Between baking, cooking, gift making and visiting, I'm amazed there's anything left of strength.  But we're happy, so that's what counts most.

Sure, it's a bit tight financially...Jack's disability insurance problem still being worked out, but the holidays are all about family and friends and keeping the home fires burning, so by those counts we're doing fairly well.
 I wonder what next year will bring.

For now, Fifty Five Is The New Day Before the Day Before....because it is!

Priority

That Joni Mitchell song comes to mind today...."wish I had a river I could skate away on..."

Randi in the car

Don't know particularly why, I just feel the strong desire to be off somewhere by myself....undisturbed...so that I could get all of these things out of my mind and on to the page, or CD, or whatever.

Creativity is a hunger, a need....like breathing.

I see people on t.v., even very young ones, who get the chance to live their muses.  Why have I been so long in the shadows watching others do what I want to do?  Have I been such a bad person that, like Mozart's nemesis in the move "Amadeus," I must watch from behind barred windows as my own passions fester unspoken? Unheard?

If I sound ungrateful for this life and all of the experiences, forgive me.  I am ever so grateful for everything....the good, the bad and the gnarly.  I am also grateful for the opportunities to use my talents within the confines of what was going on in my life at the time.

Granted, a lot of it was my own decisions.....many paths chosen ended up being distractions.  At the same time these "distractions" got me to where I am now.  And perhaps some good was done along the way, so that can't be all bad.

Now I'm finally in the right place, shuffling my priorities and making choices that include this thing inside of me that longs to be expressed.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Priority....that little voice, my own muse, that's finally strong enough to fly.

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat..."  Great, for everybody but the goose!

The tree's up, cookies are just about done.....all the holiday essentials seem firmly in place.  I love this time of year, but it's not the same without Diane.   Sure would like to have one more chance for all us gals, Diane, Janie, Teri and I, to get together and have an all out holiday howl.

But here in the real world, we're all dealing with Diane's passing in our own way...even so many years later. This isn't at all abnormal; I've heard of people grieving all their lives over someone who died.  I don't think Diane would want that.  She'd want us to move on, enjoy and remember....but definitely move on and live.

She wasn't morbid....actually had a real keen gallows' humor....until about the last year of her life, but that's understandable.

When T and I get together for our annual Christmas gathering, there's always a special little altar of sorts with a picture of D and a glass of good liquor poured for her....along with a nice bud of cannabis.  It helps, because this holiday was so very important to our friend; it would be wrong not to include her.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Absent Friends Present Spirits....Lady Diane Sciara....always in my heart.

Vistas

Grand Canyon circa 2007

Going through some old photos to take my mind of this awful cold, rainy weather. Here's one taken by Jack when we went to the Grand Canyon with my sister, her husband and my mother.   It was a wonderful trip; not only seeing the wonderful sights but spending time with the folks I love.

We toured not only the Canyon, but spent some time at Mesa Verde too....enchanting, and even a bit magical. I want to go back there and camp near the ruins....perhaps sit up on a ridge for the night and let the spirits sing to me.

Me communing with canyon

That may sound a little far fetched for someone raised as an Irish (Roman) Catholic, but it's true.  I do believe that places can hold elements and energies of the people who inhabited them....and that we can learn from these elements if we open ourselves to them.  And I believe that the spiritual mystics of not only Catholicism, but every other belief system are in touch with them., too.

I came away from that trip changed in subtle but direct ways.  At first I didn't realize it, but in the preceding  year, meditating on those craggy, rust colored rocks and on Mesa Verde's incredible beauty gave me an inner strength, a sense of peace and the ability to look beyond the negative situations that were plaguing me.  I was able to believe that all things must pass, including the dark night of the soul.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Vistas....seeing new things and seeing old things in new ways.

Getting Physical

Got some decorations up for the holidays so the place looks a bit more cheery. I wasn't feeling all that well, probably exhaustion from all this baking, so had a little help setting up the tree.  Gawd, used to be I could do it all with energy to spare.  I must be getting old.

Isn't it funny how things go....I mean, when we're young we burn the candle at both ends and it hardly effects us.  As we get older, oy! Things start to stiffen and creak like an old building.  Oh well.  I really need to get out and walk a bit more, get some cardio exercise going.  That should help with the stamina at any rate.

Even though I walk with crutches, I walk.  Got to.  These gams have to carry me 'til I don't need carrying no more....keeping them in shape is essential.  And then there's the circulation thing.  Got to keep that tuned up, too.  Just like a favorite car, gotta keep the body going or it won't go!

Today was a full day, working and baking then sitting back and enjoying the fruits of our labor.  Very satisfying....very good.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Getting Physical....a little bit every day keeps me going.