Sense of Satisfaction

Geraldine Ferrero passed.  First woman to run for Vice President of the USA on a major ticket, Ms. Ferrero passed after a long battle with blood cancer. Rest in peace.

Seems like as I age, more and more people are dying. Like every generation before, mine is coming to terms with its own mortality, albeit vicariously through our celebrated contemporaries.

I remember thinking that life would go on forever, that there was some magic bubble that was insulating me from the progression of time. At around age 40 it suddenly dawned on me that the calendar wasn't lying.  Physical aging wasn't bothering me; I was (and still am) proud of each gray hair, each furrow of the brow. I earned them all, and wear them proudly as badges of survival.

Just the fact that time's passing reminded me of how much I still wanted to accomplish.

At age 55 plus, I feel a bit more content, a bit more fulfilled.  There are still a lot of thing I want to do; publish some writing, earn enough money through my abilities to get off SSI, spend some quality time with my family and birthson, perform music live on a regular basis.....and so on and so on.  But if I died tomorrow, I'd be satisfied enough for what's taken place so far.

I've had my share of troubles, but have also had my share of blessings...and for both I am eternally grateful.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Sense of Satisfaction....a good feeling to have at this stage of the game.

Game Plan

It's early.  I've got a ton of running around to do and it's raining.  UGH!

Luckily I have a great rain poncho, so don't need to hassle with an umbrella.  They don't make 'em for folks like me who use two crutches and have no free hands.  Closest I've seen is an umbrella hat, but that's not very practical and doesn't really keep anything dry.

A few friends have said they're not going outside until they're certain the radiation from Japan isn't coming over to California.   I got news for them, it is.  But so what! I can't be shaking in my boots waiting for the next boogie man.  To hell with that!

Personally, I can't hide from everything, nothing will get done!  Besides, if an isotope has my name on it, so be it.  When my time comes I'm ready.

Not that there's nothing to fear.  There's tons to fear....all over the place.  Between the terrorists, the pollution and (some say non-existent) global warming, the economy, the increase in global tectonic activity and just plain aging, there's a lot to worry about.  Anybody who isn't concerned is either dead or oblivious to the world around them.

But that's no reason to simply stop living.  Going into hiding is a short-term solution at best. In the end, what ever it is that is the Apocalypse will happen and will hit everybody....no matter how thick the walls or how deep the bomb shelter.

The best thing we can do is just go on living.
That old Deer-in-the-headlights look doesn't suit me, at any rate.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Game Plan....living.  The only game in town.

Thoughts on Diane

Made this meditation/picture originally for Diane...she hung it by her bedside.  She used to talk about wellness, and took such care of herself that when Cancer struck it was a major surprise to everyone!

Her long battle with the disease was a combination of tragedy and inspiration. She wrestled with death 'til the last, denying its nearness until moments before her final breath.

Her denial was hard to take sometimes, but then again that's how she handled the horror I'm sure swum around her mind when the world was still and the drugs kept her from sleeping.

Until the end she didn't want narcotics. I am still amazed at that; the pain must have been severe. She did take medicines to help with her nerves, and of course 'til she couldn't any more, medical cannabis. 

When she died, she left some of her friends in her will, including yours truly.  Bless her. It was enough to pay some of my debts and upgrade computers, musical instruments and get the video production under way.  Jackaranda Graphics and Sound was only possible because of Diane.  My hope is we can really make it work, in her honor.
Now she's gone and I miss her.

Star in Heaven

On the heels of everything else comes the news that Elizabeth Taylor, one of Hollywood's Royalty, has passed at the age of 69, due to congestive heart failure.

This violet-eyed enigma stole our hearts at a very young age and it is with sweet fondness that we pay homage to her as a person, a performer and a humanitarian.

The Cosmos is enriched as your star shines bright tonight; much as you enriched our lives with your presence.

Elizabeth Taylor was creative and courageous. She inspires one to take what is on life's plate and make something of it...because it is possible.  Dreams do come true.  I learned that from National Velvet those many years ago.  We had the book, with Elizabeth's young face illustrated on the cover with the beloved horse.

I took that book, and the movie when I saw it, to heart.  Still do.

So Elizabeth....one of my favorite names by the way...for today, Fifty Five is the New Star in Heaven....for you, from one of your ardent fans and admirers. Rest in peace, work like hell....we still need your strength here on Earth. Thanks. Amen.

Working through

We're all here for at least one purpose.  We all have dreams, too.   Sometimes the two are related, sometimes they are not.

For years I wasn't sure, and I think that insecurity is why success wasn't fully realized.  Not that there weren't any good moments, or even minor victories.  But that real "ta-da," standing ovation type of success has always been elusive.

With everything going on in the world, I feel a little selfish even thinking about my own desires and dreams.   There are people in Japan, ferchristsake, who have more important things to worry about, to gripe about, than whether or not they're going to make it in music, or art....hell! They're too busy worrying about everything-like shelter, food, their relatives and friends!

Any struggle I may have experienced is little more than an inconvenience when compared to what they are going through! For my birthday, I may do one of those Make A Wish things, raise a little money for the folks over there.  I'll look into it.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Working Through....because we have to keep going.

Video - You Drive

We pause in the midst of mayhem and tsunamis to announce the birth of our latest video, "You Drive."
Somehow in spite of all the computer glitches and other personal things, we managed to get it together enough to do something creative!

And more exciting news; Jack felt well enough to make some music....only a few minutes, but its a start.
Good to have him on the mend.

Well, I'm keeping this entry short because I've been working on finishing touches of the video most of the night.  It's not perfect, but it is done.  And can be seen on YouTube!

Here's the YouTube address for it:  
http://www.youtube.com/user/BargainBasementBand?feature=mhum#p/u/0/XUrwJ_3ae2M
If anybody's out there reading this, check it out and let me know what you think!

A lot has been going on in the world, none of it should be ignored....and I'm not. I'm just putting it all on hold for this brief moment to acknowledge this accomplishment.

 The song is kind of like if Lou Reed (during his "Transformer" days) tried to write a song like "Jesus Take The Wheel."   Sometimes prayers go like that.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Video - You Drive.....been working on it for a while and now at last it's done.

Attitude about War

Atomic Sunrise  rcw

Years ago I was much less hawkish than today; at least that's how it sounds to me.

Many of my peers are opposed to us helping Libya....they see it as just another war, just another opportunity for colonialist USA to expand its sphere of influence.

I don't see it that way.
I see it as the Libyans people calling for our help.  I see it as an opportunity for us to do the right thing. 

We need to live our convictions. We need to live by our words.

I am grateful that we are finally helping those people and pray for a good, swift outcome with minimal loss of life.
If that sounds too war-like for an old hippie from the '60s, so be it.  Sometimes ya just gotta stand up and fight.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Attitude about war...sometimes it is a necessary evil.