Thirty-three

Thirty-three was a middle of the road...a weird year that only got more weird as the year went on.
 
Diane and I were still living at Venice Beach, running the Press Club....Diane and I traveled a lot, partied a bit, and worked on conventions. We made a lot of friends from all around the world and just lived life as it came to us.

It was also the year my brother Bob took his life. He'd been suffering the throes of extreme alcoholism combined with depression. We'd talked a few times and he seemed to be rallying, saying he was doing better and making plans to remodel the house.  He had a wife and two young children.

But on December 11, 1988 he was alone in his house.  He didn't call anyone. 

Sometimes I wonder what would have been had he not killed himself.  But there's only so far you can take that before becoming morose.  For better or worse, everything is as it is and all we can do is go on.
It is easy to chain oneself the chair of depression, believe me I'm an expert.  I used to look for excuses to get depressed so I could drink...talk about being sick. Bob's life and death taught me a few big lessons.

Mainly, I think he taught me to hang on....don't let negative events and feelings act like a load stone 'round the neck, use them to an advantage, turn them around or at least talk to someone!

So for today, Fifty Five is the new Thirty-Three....and in memory of my brother, a year of learning how to live.