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We're watching 2010 come to an end. 
I don't feel much like partying, per se...this cold has me blowing my nose every few minutes.  So we're just going to celebrate at home, just the two of us.  We're going to call a few friends, but for the most part it will be just us, and that's perfectly fine.

Jack and Randi in the studio

There seems to be a bit of optimism lately; people are open to the possibility that our country's problems can be worked on....which is a big difference from just a few weeks ago, prior to the election, when most folks thought we were going to hell in a hand basket.  I think there was a very clear message sent in November, and am so glad of it.  However, there is still WAAAAAAAY to much political gaming going on in Washington D.C. for government to operate correctly. 

We'll see what happens.

For our New Year's Eve, we'll be making some music, watching the ball drop on t.v. like millions of others, and whispering little prayers that our species survives, moves on to our next best selves, and that peace can find a place in our lives.

So for tonight, Fifty Five Is The New Page....as we turn it, we pray that tomorrow really does bring a better day.

Grateful Reflection

Our friends are visiting so I won't be writing much of a post until around tonight or tomorrow morning, but wanted to write a little something.

Labyrinth at Santa Fe NM Native American Museum

Being grateful for what one has is important; it keeps self pity away but even more....it reminds us just how very fortunate we really are.  Especially when times are tough.

Some people think that sounds ridiculous, being grateful when things are difficult, but it really can work.  We've been going through a few things-as has everybody-and there are two ways to handle it all; constructive or destructive. Pro-active or De-active.

I prefer the former, positive spin. Although to deny a few days on the pity pot would be an outright lie.
I'm very good at it, self pity.  I'm probably some sort of world record holder for being able to climbing into a martyr jag. And I can really hang on to it, too!  But it never got me anywhere.

Looking back, something was watching over me...but otherwise my life wasn't really progressing until that day when it started to change.  No, I'm not going to go into one of those 12 stepper stories about this, that and the other thing....anybody who's been reading this blog knows some of the excuses I used for my binge days.

Suffice to say....one booze-hazed early morning I saw myself in the mirror and was not impressed at the sallow faced, empty-eyed being that stared back at me.  I've never been one for make-up, mirrors or anything but have always tried to be presentable; but the creature's reflection in the glass looked like one of those red nosed, bloated, weathered wino I'd seen in the alleys and slums of San Fancisco and Los Angeles....not to mention Philly and all other cities of personal note.

For some reason, at that moment I was ready to climb up out of that ditch.  It wasn't easy and I still sometimes have to fight those urges to overindulge when the going gets too tough.  I can drink socially, and even have the occasional sip-like when I was baking with bourbon for the holidays, but I know not to let it get out of hand. There are rules of the road like do not drink when depressed and, as luck would have it my stomach isn't so forgiving anymore and forces me to stop after only 2 or 3 shots of bourbon, and I don't like anything else.  Even wine gives me headaches these days, though in the thrilling days of yesteryear I must have helped keep them in business.

These days it's more about faith than fifths.  I am grateful for all things, good and difficult in this life. Including the ability to feel the strain of the climb....I know the view at the top will be incredible!

So for today, Fifty Five is all about Grateful Reflection...the person in the mirror and what lies underneath, just waiting to be discovered. I am grateful for having the opportunity to make that discovery new each day.

Happy Camper

On the Road circa 2009

Going through a few more photos....stumbled across this one.  Jack and I went on a great road trip in 2009.....we meandered about and stopped by for a visit with our friends Jan and Vincent up in Shasta. 

We love to cruise, especially dirt roads and new places.  Sometimes it gets a little scary, looking over the side of a cliff as our car winds its way around in the gravel and clay.  I'll confess to a couple of moments when things got a little hairy, but if a person doesn't raise their pulse rate once in a while, how do they even know if they've lived?!!  Jack is an excellent driver and has always gotten us home safe, no matter how intricate the maneuvers!

We also like to camp, so our kind of a road trip is perfect!  We don't go to "campsite" camps....we prefer to rough it as much as possible.  We have a few favorite spots, Mendocino National Forest is top of the list for "local" fare.   Dirt roads,  no blacktop parking lots or check-in desks.  To us, heaven is a nice, private spot under the trees near the creek.  If it has a fire pit, fine.  If not, we make one by digging a round hole and lining it with rocks.

Camping is in my blood.  My family did it a lot when we were growing up....between childhood, scouting and a stint or two of homelessness,  I've had a pretty good education on how to get along in the "wild."  Jack's done a fair amount of camping too through his life, so we make a real good team on the road.


We're hoping to get out there again soon....a little weekend away would be nice.  When we do, we'll make sure to take plenty of pictures and videos.  Sometime I hope to do some winter camping, but at the same time I'm realistic....arthritis doesn't like the cold, at least mine doesn't.


Anyway, for today, Fifty Five Is The New Happy Camper...looking back on past adventures and looking forward to the next!




  

Anniversary

Well, it's going on the one year anniversary of this blog and although I haven't written every day, I've done my best to write often.  As my friend and beat poet Philip Hackett says, "A writer writes." and he's so right. Right? So Write!

Life as Landscape....fractal by rcw

Writing has always been important to me.  I used to keep journals, well actually thought books. My favorites were the old black and white "marble" print cover copy books like school kids use.  I still like them today...sturdy, good paper quality and handy in every setting. For some reason, when people are using them it looks like they mean business....and in my case, I do!

So far, doing this blog has forced me to slow down and really look at life. You know, give it more than lip service and a pat on the head.  It's been a real examination of not only conscience, but of purpose too. I've had to be critical; after all there are a lot of goals not yet achieved and time's a wasting! 

This blog will continue through to my Fifty Sixth birthday, April 14, 2011.  After that, I'll probably find something else to blog about...or just continue on the journey already started, expanding the field beyond age fifty five.  To be sorted out when the time comes.

For now, Fifty Five Is The New Anniversary....one year and counting for Fifty Five Is The New!

Celebration

Soul Flight  by rcw

Woke up with a cold...ugh!  Sick in bed, too wrung out to do much but wanted to write a few lines.

New Year's eve is coming...lots of people are planning parties, buying noise makers and funny hats.  My folks used to host New Year's eve parties when we were growing up.  The neighbors and a few family friends would come over around seven and sit around playing games, eating finger food and partaking of various liquid libations.

I was too young for the drinking part, although I will confess to a few "sneak-sips" while clearing the table.  As long as we kids were busy playing in the basement we were allowed to stay up until midnight.

Some of the other kids would fall asleep, but not me! Insomniac since forever, I'd keep myself amused or help clear the table....which was amusing too....until it was time to ring in the New Year!

They'd pull out noise makers, I was more of a purist.  Mom had this great aluminum pan lid that sounded like a gong when hit with a wooden spoon.  Between that combination and a few paper bags to pop, I was good to go!

Once the excitement died down, Mom would send us off to bed.  She didn't know that I'd sit at the top of the steps and watch through the banister as the adults got comfy with a few final nite caps.

New Years are more sedate these days for me...usually spent with Jack and once he goes to sleep I sit and write for a while.  And that's perfectly fine for me.  So we'll ring in 2011 on Friday night peacefully and happily.  And I'll hopefully be over my cold by then!

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Celebration, a little more quiet than days of yore...but at least no hang-overs!

Holly Day

December 25, 2010....Christmas.

Christmas Ball  rcw

Is it politically correct to even call it that?  We are living in a strange time, when it is not acceptable to have manger scenes and Christmas Carols are considered barely appropriate, and only under certain settings.
What happened?
How did it get this way?
Can you imagine, trying to perform something like Handel's Messiah in the current mode?  What would it be like?   "For undo us a child is born; unto us a unisex child is given...."  or  "I know that my personal source for Higher Power liveth."  How moving!
I still love it the old way and don't see the harm in wishing everybody a Merry Christmas!  Heck, I wish 'em Happy Kwanza, Happy Solstice, Happy Hannukah  and whatever else comes down the pike!  And will always do so!
Take that, Ebinezer Politico!

For today Fifty Five Is The New Holly Day....December 25....Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas

Christmas Card 2008 by rcw

Some things just have to be as they are....Christmas is one of them.  How ever politically incorrect it might be, and regardless of whom I may offend, I offer sincerest good wishes of the season and the most blessed things in the coming New Year! 

This drawing was my holiday card for 2008...created in CorelDRAW X3 and Corel Photo Paint X3.  It was made during a very difficult time; Jack was away, money was tighter than a pair of spanks and I wasn't sure what was going to happen next.

What I did know was that things had to get better and that I just had to hang in there long enough for the change to take place.   So I kept busy doing creative things...which, as it turns out is the best thing a person can do when faced with dire, ridiculous situations.

As it turned out, being creative kept me sane...kept me from cracking under immense pressure...and kept me focused on the Moment rather than on all the What Ifs that tend to keep us awake on long, cold, worry-filled nights. Rather than suffer, I took advantage of the opportunity to create and totally steeped myself in my muses.

But anyway...it's Christmas Eve!  We're going to celebrate the holiday with Jack's family a little later today!  It'll be a lot of fun!  Those folks sure know how to party and are all quite accomplished in the cooking department.  Family is important, especially this time of year.  And I'm grateful that at long last we have some West Coast people we can call our own.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Merry Christmas...Happy holidays, seasons' greetings, Shalom, Kwaanza, Eid and so on!  What ever ya got, have a good one!

Day Before The Day Before

I'm going to really relax after this holiday rush!  But in the meantime, I'm caught up in a whirlwind and can't write much.  Between baking, cooking, gift making and visiting, I'm amazed there's anything left of strength.  But we're happy, so that's what counts most.

Sure, it's a bit tight financially...Jack's disability insurance problem still being worked out, but the holidays are all about family and friends and keeping the home fires burning, so by those counts we're doing fairly well.
 I wonder what next year will bring.

For now, Fifty Five Is The New Day Before the Day Before....because it is!

Priority

That Joni Mitchell song comes to mind today...."wish I had a river I could skate away on..."

Randi in the car

Don't know particularly why, I just feel the strong desire to be off somewhere by myself....undisturbed...so that I could get all of these things out of my mind and on to the page, or CD, or whatever.

Creativity is a hunger, a need....like breathing.

I see people on t.v., even very young ones, who get the chance to live their muses.  Why have I been so long in the shadows watching others do what I want to do?  Have I been such a bad person that, like Mozart's nemesis in the move "Amadeus," I must watch from behind barred windows as my own passions fester unspoken? Unheard?

If I sound ungrateful for this life and all of the experiences, forgive me.  I am ever so grateful for everything....the good, the bad and the gnarly.  I am also grateful for the opportunities to use my talents within the confines of what was going on in my life at the time.

Granted, a lot of it was my own decisions.....many paths chosen ended up being distractions.  At the same time these "distractions" got me to where I am now.  And perhaps some good was done along the way, so that can't be all bad.

Now I'm finally in the right place, shuffling my priorities and making choices that include this thing inside of me that longs to be expressed.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Priority....that little voice, my own muse, that's finally strong enough to fly.

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat..."  Great, for everybody but the goose!

The tree's up, cookies are just about done.....all the holiday essentials seem firmly in place.  I love this time of year, but it's not the same without Diane.   Sure would like to have one more chance for all us gals, Diane, Janie, Teri and I, to get together and have an all out holiday howl.

But here in the real world, we're all dealing with Diane's passing in our own way...even so many years later. This isn't at all abnormal; I've heard of people grieving all their lives over someone who died.  I don't think Diane would want that.  She'd want us to move on, enjoy and remember....but definitely move on and live.

She wasn't morbid....actually had a real keen gallows' humor....until about the last year of her life, but that's understandable.

When T and I get together for our annual Christmas gathering, there's always a special little altar of sorts with a picture of D and a glass of good liquor poured for her....along with a nice bud of cannabis.  It helps, because this holiday was so very important to our friend; it would be wrong not to include her.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Absent Friends Present Spirits....Lady Diane Sciara....always in my heart.

Vistas

Grand Canyon circa 2007

Going through some old photos to take my mind of this awful cold, rainy weather. Here's one taken by Jack when we went to the Grand Canyon with my sister, her husband and my mother.   It was a wonderful trip; not only seeing the wonderful sights but spending time with the folks I love.

We toured not only the Canyon, but spent some time at Mesa Verde too....enchanting, and even a bit magical. I want to go back there and camp near the ruins....perhaps sit up on a ridge for the night and let the spirits sing to me.

Me communing with canyon

That may sound a little far fetched for someone raised as an Irish (Roman) Catholic, but it's true.  I do believe that places can hold elements and energies of the people who inhabited them....and that we can learn from these elements if we open ourselves to them.  And I believe that the spiritual mystics of not only Catholicism, but every other belief system are in touch with them., too.

I came away from that trip changed in subtle but direct ways.  At first I didn't realize it, but in the preceding  year, meditating on those craggy, rust colored rocks and on Mesa Verde's incredible beauty gave me an inner strength, a sense of peace and the ability to look beyond the negative situations that were plaguing me.  I was able to believe that all things must pass, including the dark night of the soul.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Vistas....seeing new things and seeing old things in new ways.

Getting Physical

Got some decorations up for the holidays so the place looks a bit more cheery. I wasn't feeling all that well, probably exhaustion from all this baking, so had a little help setting up the tree.  Gawd, used to be I could do it all with energy to spare.  I must be getting old.

Isn't it funny how things go....I mean, when we're young we burn the candle at both ends and it hardly effects us.  As we get older, oy! Things start to stiffen and creak like an old building.  Oh well.  I really need to get out and walk a bit more, get some cardio exercise going.  That should help with the stamina at any rate.

Even though I walk with crutches, I walk.  Got to.  These gams have to carry me 'til I don't need carrying no more....keeping them in shape is essential.  And then there's the circulation thing.  Got to keep that tuned up, too.  Just like a favorite car, gotta keep the body going or it won't go!

Today was a full day, working and baking then sitting back and enjoying the fruits of our labor.  Very satisfying....very good.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Getting Physical....a little bit every day keeps me going.

Thoughts on Family holidays

Not sleepy, but that's not unusual.
Sleep doesn't usually hit me 'til around three or so, then it's back up by 6 or 7 unless I have a headache or my legs don't want to work.  Then I get to lay around for a bit until things clear up, but really laying in bed isn't my idea of a good time.

There's just too much to do!  Especially around the holidays!  Either making gifts or wrapping them, going somewhere to deliver them or having company come over.......whoever invented the idea of a "holiday" sure didn't mean "take it easy day."

Modern Isolationism....rcw

But that's okay...and it's even more exciting now that Jack's family is including us in their celebrations.  It's been a little lonely these past many years, even though we have friends to share the time, there's something about family...just can't be replaced.

I used to not thing this way....used to consider myself just a stranger in a strange land, until l met my birthson...then my thinking changed a bit...the whole family thing took on new meaning.

I hope to go see my folks some time soon.  Mom ain't getting any younger and neither is any body else.
Here's hoping the coming year brings a chance for that.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Thoughts on Family holidays....some of the best stuff there is!

Home For The Holidays

Chalice by rcw

Holidays bring on memories....one of my favorite is how Mom would decorate the house.  Of course that was predicated by a grand old house cleaning, stem to stern.   This included everything from polishing the dining room furniture with Old English and a cloth to polishing the fancy gold flatware we'd be using at said table as we feasted upon an amazing meal.

Mom can cook.

This whole thing would commence shortly after Halloween and continue through Thanksgiving...the house would already be spic 'n' span for that, but we'd have to do some touch-ups for the Christmas/New Year celebrations.

I used to love polishing the dining room table legs. I'd pretend they were trees and I was hiding in a forest, or countless other scenarios while rubbing that polish deep into the grain. I'd do the chair legs as well, and why not? Then it would be on to the server, then finally the china cabinet.  I couldn't reach the tall parts....not even standing on a chair. Mom or Sister took care of them, unless one of the brothers could be drafted.

One of my most favorite memories is of the dining room window.  It wasn't much of a window, really...kind of a long window grouping that wasn't very tall.  It was highly placed on the dining room's rear wall, leaving plenty of room for a server (not sure what else to call it) under neath.  But she took that humble feature and transformed it into something very special during Christmas.

She'd tease me....I knew she knew I loved that particular decorative element, so she'd tease me.  We'd have to dig out the special curtains....wonderful, special things they were, too.  White, almost transparent panels with softly ruffled trim....there were actually three parts to the window treatment.  First were the panels that went across the window, like regular curtains do.  Then came the sides and finally the valance.  The sides criss crossed in the middle and tied back, creating a nice enough effect.

But when she put the electric candelabra on the window sill and lit it against the night sky, the sight was amazing.  Textures bent the light into a million cascades of folds and ruffles. Absolutely beautiful.

I miss my family, especially around the holidays. None of us are getting any younger, so I'm gonna get back to see them in the coming year.  Been a long time, and it's time to reconnect.

But for now, Fifty Five Is The New Home For the Holidays...even if it is only in memory.

Sondtrack For a Bake-A-Thon, Part 2

Call me crazy.   I'm baking more.  But it's so much fun, especially when there's the following musical line-up to keep me going:

We started off with Supertramp's Breakfast In America, went into Dire Straits' Brothers In Arms, livened things up a bit with some old Rolling Stones via Git Yer Ya Yas Out, and now I'm wondering what to listen to while I take a break.

Music is amazing in how it can uplift and energize. That's one thing I depend on during these almost round-the-clock bake-a-thons.

So I'm keeping this blog entry short....I think it's time for some Allman Brothers' Eat A Peach. Yep, that'll help bring it all home.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Soundtrack For a Bake-A-Thon Part 2....just in time for gingerbread!

Soundtrack for a Bake- athon Part 1

December 15th  2010


The world's gone mad and I'm on a holiday bake-athon, the kitchen smells of sugars and cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, dried fruits, raisins and cranberries...I'm up to my neck in flour, sifting and mixing like a mad woman over her caldron of many secrets.  "Boil, boil, trouble and toil..." ah, but this concoction is bursting with all things good to warm the heart and cheer the soul.  So trouble, be gone for a few moments.

Cooking

Today's kitchen to-dos are brought to us by the Beatles, so far Beatles '65, followed by Abby Road played side two then side one just because.  Right now I'm on a break while "I Want You" starts in the background.  Brother Jim, this one's for you.

That battle of the bands in high school, glad they let you play after all that work.  I mean, here's this high school kid who should have had a record deal since he was, I don't know, five...learns the song, writes the musical parts for said piece, assembles members of the high school band and together they just plain old ROCK the gymnasium!   Jesus, I was soooooo proud!   They disqualified him before the contest even began (smart move, he'd have won hands down otherwise!), but let him close the show  with the piece as a special number.   I'm tellin' ya, the whole place came alive....even the teachers were rockin!  The end part, the instrumental jam ending was just incredible....with his band plus the high school band members all going at it-
the room started to swirl and spin......we all danced, twirling around like whirling shamans, calling up incredible things to dance with us.....the sound surrounded us like wind, like blankets then it stopped.

And all that was left was the echo.

Then silence as it drifted away.

Then silence until the silence came back.

And then, incredible applause, stomping, screaming and cheering......

I don't remember how long it went on, but eventually the applause ended.  I remember going by where Jim and his ensemble were picking up their things. We hugged.

The world was crazy back then, too.  Vietnam, social unrest, the generation gap and so on.  It was a time of upheaval and change, much like today; but we survived.

I believe we can survive these trying times as well, with a little bit of faith, a little bit of common sense and a little bit of rock n' roll....so for today, Fifty Five Is The New Soundtrack for a Bake-athon Part 1, because sometimes ya just gotta get creative and baking is a good way to do it!
'

Goal Orientation

Sometimes I watch the Biography channel.....gives me a chance to see how other people did what ever they did to get where they got.  One thing stands out loud and clear; they get no where at all until they are true to who they are as people.

Is that my problem?  Haven't I found out who I am as a person yet, after all these years? One would think all that psycho-drama insanity of my earlier years would have resulted in some sort of discovery by now. Or perhaps that process is still going on.

What do I really want to do with my life?  Music, Art, Writing.....I've fought most of my childhood for the chance to do these things. These are the things I still want to do, and I fight each distraction now with a vengeance.  Too many years I allowed other things to draw me away from my real inner calling.

Some day, when I'm a very ancient woman, I'll be sitting on a front porch rocking in a wooden chair....pleased that I was able to earn the home, chair and other things needed in my life through my creativity.

That's what I really want in my life....to earn my keep through my abilities.  And by God, I'm going to do that.

So for today, Fifty Five Is the New Goal Orientation....due now!

Virtues of Vinyl

Got a chance to listen to some of my old vinyl earlier today....sure sounded great!

Yes, there were the old pops, pings, crackles and crunches.....and of course I had to get up and manually turn the record over to play the other side.

Hey! That's how we did it in the "olden days."

I actually had to laugh, not remembering at first that most albums only had 6 or 7 songs on each side.....I'd be in the middle of doing something then have to stop and change the disc.   Boy, times have really changed!

I'm glad there are still turntables out there to play these things; and am equally glad to note that vinyl recordings seem to be available once again in the open market.  Yay!

So for today, Fifty Five Is the New Virtues of Vinyl....records that is!

Thoughts on Getting Older

I confess, I'm getting old.

Used to be a baking marathon was nothing more than a long day.  Not so now!  I woke up later than usual, back aching and arms aching too.  Sheesh!

I used to hate it when the "old folk" complained about their "itisuses and isms," rubbing their joints like they were rubbing Aladdin's lamp, wishing for a change.  "Gawd!" I used to think at thirteen years of age, "That'll never be me!  I'll die first!"  Sure. Right. 

Karma is hell, especially when it comes to aging!  I'm going to lay down for a few more minutes before starting into the baking craziness all over again.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Thoughts Getting Older....let's face it, none of us are getting any younger!

Sharing Creations

Boo Boo's Bargain Basement Band-Randi and Jack

Well, we've done it. 
We have an online InfoHub for our Boo Boo's Bargain Basement Band things, so I might as well post the info here, too.

Some folks might think it tacky, to be advertising like that...but hey!  The artist has to send their work out to the universe...why?  Who knows!  I used to think it was just about the ego, some kind of self-serving thing, but have come to some different conclusions as I stopped letting distractions come between me and my creativity.

The first thing is that there is a hunger inside and it cannot be satisfied by anything other than using the creative energy to create something.   Be it artwork, music, writing, dancing, public speaking, building a structure....whatever....there is a need that's as important as breathing, and anybody who's involved in their passion can attest to this.

The other funny thing is that anybody can create things all day long, filling their house with what it is that they do....and for some folks, that's enough.  For others, there's a need to get it out there, "the artist struggling to be heard," Bro Jud used to say...maybe.  But maybe it's just more of that same energy that makes universes and black holes happen...just more creation being sent out across the canvas of space/time....to be seen as a glimmer of light on some far distant shore.  Who knows?

But anyway, here's the information on the InfoHub:
http://www.booboosbargainbasementband.weebly.com

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Sharing Creations....because that's what artists do.

Birthson Birthday

Mirror, Mirror  by rcw

Happy Birthday Mark!
Back in the '70s I was not permitted to even acknowledge that I had a child, let alone that he had a birthday.

Of course, that was back when it was still considered a "bad" thing to have a child out of wedlock.  It was amazing to me to watch how people scrambled about to keep this aspect of nature hidden from society.

God forbid anyone's girlchild get "caught" showing an inflated belly and a motherly glow!

Well that was then!  These days, all kinds of women are getting pregnant without even having sex!  They select the genetic make-up, go to an appointment for an implant and there ya go!

Isn't it amazing how things change?

In truth, I never kept my birthmotherhood a secret...other than not talking about it with family members and my parents' neighbors, after all they went through so much trouble to conceal everything.  And considering the era, how they themselves were raised and the type of neighborhood we lived in, they weren't capable of making any other decision.  I've learned to accept it without bitterness...although it did take a few years. Somewhere inside, I knew we'd meet.  I prayed we'd have some sort of ongoing communication....I lived in hope no matter what people said....and believe me, they said a lot! But my true friends believed, like me, that someday we'd meet.

It was really amazing when Mark found me....out of the blue one morning I got a life-changing and faith-fulfilling phone call.  Suddenly everybody in the family knew there was an extra grandchild in the world, but even more important....I knew that Mark was okay and had a fairly good life. 

I'd have loved to have given him a childhood with me, but was and am pleased with how things turned out. In a sense, giving him up for adoption assured he had what he needed most; a family.  At the time, I didn't know what I'd have been able to offer him...so figured a good start was the best I could do.

So at 2:30 a.m., December 10th 1973 my birthson was born. I called him David Christopher meaning  "Beloved, Bearing Christ." I had no fantasies about his adoptive parents keeping his name, mind you.

I named him for my heart's sake, and hoped that one day I'd be able to tell him how much I love him.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Birthson Birthday....because it really did happen and I'm so very blessed to have him in my life again.

Thanks Mark, for looking for your birthfather and me....I love you beyond words.

Day Dawning

Woke up fairly early, considering how late it was when I got to sleep; but that's the way things go for me.  Sleep is something to do when there's nothing to do....at least for me.

Some folks, even some doctors, think I'm from another planet or something because of my sleep pattern. Hey! It doesn't bother me any!  I get a lot done.

The kitchen's a wreck and needs a heavy cleaning.  Jack is real good at helping with that sort of thing....bless him. And he encourages me too, which is very special and good.  Everybody needs a little of that; not necessarily the "atta boy" stuff, more inspiration than ego feed. That's what I appreciate.

Growing up, we kids didn't get a lot of that.  My folks wanted us to succeed, but their idea of it was to ignore.  The girls were supposed to get "little jobs,"  just something to hold them over 'til marriage set in.

UGH!  Our family was chock-full of talent and I believe we could have gotten somewhere musically if there's been encouragement and direction from a young age.  We had five part harmony, talented instrumentalists and even song writers all under one roof!  I wonder what would have happened if we'd received the proper guidance.

Oh well.....that was then, this is now. One can't turn back the hands of time....not yet, at any rate.
But there's a valuable lesson to be learned from this....parents should encourage children to be themselves.  If talents are made known, they should be inspired not condemned to the hobby segment of life.  It's too damaging to the child's self esteem, and stifles their creativity....effecting their entire lives.

Ultimately the decisions each person makes regarding their future is their own doing. That includes me.
I can "blame" my upbringing for only so much, the rest....the majority of it....has been up to me.  I'm not rich and famous, but I'm not living on the streets either. Not bad for a crazy baby boomer, eh?

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Day Dawning....each one a new opportunity to meet up with one's destiny.

Cookie Time

It's Cookie Time again! That winter holiday season, when kitchen windows steam up from oven's spice-laden warmth...it's  upon us once more, and I for one couldn't be happier!  We need a little something, right about now to help get us through the hard times....just a couple of days where we can sit with family and friends, or at least raise a glass of something special against the evening's chill.

 In keeping with this sense of yuletide bacchanalia, I decided to create a cookie with a kick....the Bourbon Pinwheel Cookie.  This one is loaded, and gives one the opportunity to get loaded while cooking the cookies.
The recipe takes a bit of time, but the results are well worth the work!

Randi and Bourbon Cookies

The filling can be made with any dried fruit in combination with chopped nuts, apples (or pears), orange slices (seeded) brown sugar, cinnamon, cloves, butter and a dash of either bran, corn starch or just make a real thick reduction out of the "fruit boil."

There's a separate dough, which is made with bourbon as well, and it has to be chilled for an hour before assembling the cookie rolls.  Then the cookie rolls have to be chilled 4 hours.

The dough is kinda sticky, but is easy to chill and because it has booze in it, you can put the completed cookie rolls in the freezer and they don't freeze...they just chill.

After about 4 hours, the cookie rolls are taken from the freezer, sliced into pinwheels and put in a 350 degree oven for about 12 minutes..... then take them out, let them sit and cool on a rack.
 They are GOOOOOOOOO!

So for today, Fifty Five is the New Cookie Time!  You're never too old for a good cookie!

December Dreamin'

December.....back east the trees are looking like boney fingers against the backdrop of a greying sky.  There's a special smell to the air when snow is eminent....I remember it, and remember waiting to see if I could spot the very first snowflake of the season.

It was a chance to make wishes; like on dandelion puffs with summer breezes....only these were winter wishes.

Once or twice, I swear I saw it....from my bedroom window the first time and the second while standing on our front porch. I made the mandatory wish each time although I don't remember now what I wished. 

I miss the snow; parts of it at any rate.  Even the shoveling once in a while....hey it was a way to earn some extra money for presents-that's how we kids did it back then.  Shoveling, pushing cars, running errands, baby sitting and of course Christmas Caroling.   I did Halloween Caroling one year too, but that's a different story.

Anyway, I'm going through my recipe files for holiday baking right now....lots to do this year, because we're going to be with Jack's family!  Lots to do, so little time.

So for right now, Fifty Five Is the New December Dreamin'.....snowflakes, cookies and memories.

Season of Light

Everyone is caught up in getting ready for the holidays, and it's important. Especially when times are tough, we need an opportunity to put on some extra lights and make the place warm, cozy...a little fuzzy even.

I'm doing my part, too.  Already started on the holiday cookies, planning for the breads and side dish for dinner with Jack's family.

Of course this is a sharp contrast to one of my recent entries, bemoaning the economic fate of  our country and so on. But I believe that if we want to survive, if we want to win we have to envision that we are capable of winning and that we do want to survive.  And what better way than decorating the house, burning a bright lamp or two against winter's cold nights, and making specially baked gifts for friends and family.

I am amazed that even in our economy there are commercials on television showing people getting bow wrapped cars in their driveways....but what ever floats yer boat, eh?

What would be most wonderful for a gift this holiday season?   A nice big dose of compassionate common sense, neatly installed within the hearts and minds of our leaders and the leaders of the world.

And let there be peace, lasting peace....not a loss of autonomy, but a true renewal of the human species....so that we can become the best us possible, instead of always trying to kill each other.

Okay...okay....now, back to cookies. Gotta get more in the oven!
Bourbon oatmeal chocolate chip, bourbon balls.....which?  Hmmm.  Choices Choices!  Perhaps I better try a sip of the bourbon to figure out which one IT wants to be!  :)

So for today, Fifty Five is the new Season of light-a time to burn bright against the cold winds that blow against our backs.

1965 in the Rain

As a little kid, I used to love playing in the rain....splashing in the puddles, building make-shift dams in the mud under our neighbor's back porch, just letting the water hit my face and run down my cheek....it felt like I was being baptized by Mother Nature.

Back then, kids were able to go off by themselves for hours without causing an Amber Alert.

I wonder....were there just fewer perverts and crazies back then or did we just not hear about it so much?

Our neighborhood had its share of characters. Most were harmless and lovable. We did have a neighborhood bully or two, and had a few imported bullies as well but for the most part I steered clear of their shenanigans.

We did have a few questionable older folks a couple of blocks over.  At about eleven years old I had a run-in with one of them and swore that nobody would ever be able to do that to me again. Immediately after the event I got back on my bike and just rode and rode 'til I was too tired, then went home and took the longest shower in my life.

I let the water run all over me, bathing me, soothing me.....rinsing the tears and hurt, shame and rage away.
It reminded me of the rain, of standing out in it and feeling alive.

Later that night there was a fluke thunder storm.  I watched through my bedroom window as the night's rain rinsed the world clean. 

I managed to get over the incident on my own, due in part no doubt to my own unique survival methods which somehow always made me lose time. But for the most part, to the world at large I was just an eleven year old that summer...and I still remember playing in the rain.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New 1965 in the Rain....because.

Parrots of North Beach

Was clearing out my computer files and came across this.

I won the Poet of the Month for December 2008.  I entered the contest on a hunch and after being encouraged by Philip Hackett, one of the Beat Poets here in North Beach. I won
 the contest! (I think it had something to do with the punch line)

 The Foundation for Creative Expression
presents
The Beat Museum Poet of the Month
December 2008

---

Winner

Randelyn C. Webster

San Francisco, CA

For the Birds

The famous parrots of North Beach
Are either loved or hated.
Some treat them as a treasure
Some just want them abated.

Tourists mostly love them
Locals mostly, too...
Except for the complainers
After all that's what they do.

Criticizing and finding fault
With almost everything
From the color of morning sky
To when the church bells ring,

These people are more apt to find
Flaws on the Mona Lisa...
And don't tell me they wouldn't gripe
About that tower in Pisa!

Some think it's just unnatural,
That the parrots don't belong...
Is it due to their green plumage?
Or the shrillness of their song?

Or is it because they're different
They aren't native, they are strange,
The unfamiliar oddity
To those who can't stand change

There were meetings and petitions
Writ to rid us of our birds,
Citing noise and health codes...
Citing feathers, citing turds.

They didn't think we'd notice
Didn't think that we would care
If they removed our parrots...
But we stopped them then and there.

And so for now the parrots reign,
Our emeralds of the sky...
They've found a home in North Beach,
And there's little wonder why—

For we are a unique place,
We give different its due—
And on behalf of all odd birds,
Either like it or flock you!

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Parrots of North Beach....may they fly free forever!

Investigation

Been a few days again, life gets busy.
Thanksgiving with Jack's family was nice. The people are all genuinely friendly and open, all great cooks too! They seemed to like my "Apples Exploration" too.....apple pie, apple cider, apples and squash dishes....kinda went apple overboard, but they watch Iron Chef and Iron Chef America so they got it....secret ingredient was Apple, right?

And now a few political moments:

Curtains and Whispers  by rcw

The average age of a Republic is 200 years, I think according to Alexander Dumont. Our Republic has been "rotting from within" for a while, politically and financially.
I'd like to think our country can be different, that we can pick ourselves up and learn from history....learn how not to repeat the negative or destructive behaviors and learn how to do things better.

At this moment the "lame duck" congress is meeting, trying to pass certain policies and laws before the end of the year...among them is the "Bush Tax Cuts."  The present majority (called Democrats) want to end the tax cuts for "the very wealthy."  The present minority (Republicans) are not in favor of the Democrat's idea because they feel it will destroy what little economy we have left.

Personally, I am not interested in politics, I want our country to survive. I think this is the wrong time to be raising taxes...for anyone.  I believe they should keep the tax cuts and do something more, grant incentives for businesses, small businesses and start-ups so that they:
          1) hire people   2) include living wage and reasonable benefits packages for their employees who continue passed the standard probationary period    3) invest/reinvest in the American based portions of their business
             The incentive could be, what else? Tax breaks.  And why not? If they're putting money into our society's economy to improve the conditions, why not give them a break?
Let's look into this....honestly.
      What is wrong with becoming a success in business? And what's wrong with wanting to encourage reinvestment in our nation's economy?  And what's wrong with offering incentives to do this?

We recently visited a friend, who was under the impression that the Bush Tax Cuts benefited only the very rich.   When we explained that the present congress wants to make it so anyone above the $250,000 annual income (gross) would have their tax bill raised, they at first said "$250,000 is a lot of money."  But when examined from the point of view of a small business person, there's nothing much left at the end of the month once all bills, expenses, fees, employees and benefits, and so on were paid each month.
    This seemed to shock our friend, who hadn't considered that   a) the $250,000. was the total income, not the income after expenses....hmmm  and b) the media (the news stations they listen to) claimed the tax cuts were only for the very rich.

      I am not interested in political affiliation...rather I am interested in our nation surviving, intact.
That's not going to happen if we don't improve our economy.  We can't improve our economy if we force the only people with REAL money to send their money to other countries or bury it in the back yard until this mess blows over.  It AIN'T going to blow over without some sort of PRO-ACTIVE and SUSTAINABLE action.....like not taxing entrepreneurs and businesses to death.  We need them to invest in our economy.

On a separate note, while I'm spouting opinions:
Wikileaks-Julian Assange.....why is he permitted to run free when his actions, along with his informant(s), are clearly forms of treason.  
Why is he and his informant(s) permitted to walk around free?  Now, I believe we kinda knew most of what was in the leaked documents, at least in our guts, but it really is dangerous and a violation of national security to have these documents flayed about like linens on a line.

What gives?  Who benefits from this?
Why haven't we, through our leaders, raised a big stink about this?
Between the national security and the economy, who are these people REALLY serving?
Have our nation's leaders truly gone mad?

The whole situation is a big jumble of nonsense swirling in a broth of idiocy, seasoned with the spice of destructive behavior...a bad stew!

Anyway, for today Fifty Five Is The New Investigation....seeking answers from something beyond what the media tells us; and solutions of common sense NOT politics.

Dreams of a Medical Cannabis Community Center

SFPC 350 Divisadero Street  Holiday Celebration

Sorry it's been a couple days.....life gets crazy sometimes.

Everywhere I go, people ask if the Patient's Cooperative is going to open again.  It was a very important thing for the patients and for the community.  More than a "pot club," the Co-Op was a place for the community to gather for everything from memorial services to political debates, and what ever else was needed.

I believe the Medical Cannabis Community of San Francisco needs its own community center, larger than what we had at 350 Divisadero Street....offering services for patients, their supporters and the general public as well.  It is my prayer that this happens.  I believe that it will. 


Would I want to be the director again?  No. Would I want to be involved at all?  Yes....of course, but only if it is really based on the concepts of Compassion, Hospitality and Service rather than greed, greed and more greed.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Dreams of a Medical Cannabis Community Center....bigger, better and more effective than anything ever before for the people who need it most!

Moment

Time is breezing by....it's almost 2011!  Has it really been that long since I started this blog?

Good to note that I've kept with it thus far, and for me that is some kind of a record. Sure shows me what I'm capable of....no more excuses.  No more saying I don't have the concentration skills...it's all bull, and I've just been lazy.

That's a hard thing to admit to....but it's decidedly true.  I wonder how many real golden opportunities I ignored or pushed aside? Hmmmmm.

A person could do irreparable psychological harm to themselves, going over every stinking little thing.  So nope. Not even gonna go there.  Whatever happened, so be it.  I made my choices and took my chances and am here....now. What happened back then is gone, and what's up ahead is up to me.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Moment....now.

Hope For The Holidays

A month 'til Christmas, so much going on.  I love the lights and cinnamon smells, and the music....it's all just so geared to touch the heart.  And why not?  Baby, it's cold outside....and bound to get colder before its all over.

Wouldn't it be great if we could keep a bit of that special feeling all through the year, instead of just limiting it to a few days of the year? The world would be in a much better state if we were more concerned with survival and less preoccupied with destruction.

My prayer is that we come to that place some day where life matters more than ego.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Hope for the Holidays, and for every other day, too!

Ingredient

Apples from Jack's Sister's Garden

It's three thirty a.m. and I'm up, baking the last of the Thanksgiving apple pies.  This year, the apples weren't alone in their epic journey....because they were special.  They were from Jack's sister's very own apple tree!
Granny Smiths' they are,  in their bright green coats with the golden hewed collar around their stems.  Very sweet, very perfect for my intentions. I added raisins to a couple of the pies, along with a little brown sugar and some flax seed bran.  The others became Apple Raisin Cranberry Orange Walnut Pies. Both had pie shell pastry bottom crusts and crumb crust on top.  I plan on slightly drizzling them with thin whisps of dark chocolate, to add a slight contrast to the expected flavors of apples, cinnamon and cloves.

To me, cooking is a grand experiment!  It's laying flavors, blending them to a point but allowing just enough distinction so that the resultant flavor has both substance and contrast. (gee that sounded like a lot of  Food Network Speak).But it's fun cooking, even more fun cooking for family gatherings!
 
Having Jack's family in our lives has been great for us.  For Jack, it's been a chance to reconnect with his mother before she passed, and establish a friendly relationship with his sister and her family.  For me, it's been the answer to an unspoken longing for Jack, and for myself as well....a longing to have a group of people that we can be with who have something inherently in common with at least one of us on this coast....a physical resemblance, a similar quirk...the things only recognizable in a family-group setting.

Adopted people talk about it....looking in the mirror and wondering who else out there in the great big world shares that nose, that double chin, those mood swings.  But there's more to it than that, too. It's a shared history, a linking of identities and circumstances that go back through one's ancestry and speak to the present like only a genetic code can do.

I have had the luxury of a close-knit family of sorts.  Mind you, I confess that my communication skills are horrid...but as anyone will tell you nobody is singled out.  I just suck on correspondence. (this coming from a self-proclaimed writer! go figure!)  Anyway, regardless of my lack of communication at times, my family is a very strong, bonded group of fascinating individuals. Brothers, Sisters,  Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Birth Son, Nieces and Nephews, Cousins (first, second and so on)...I grew up with the complete assortment.  We were a boisterous, lively crew and when we got together for the most part we enjoyed each others' company.

Except when somebody was on somebody else's shitlist.  We didn't call it that then, Mom wouldn't let us curse. But knowledge of the "list" was my first experience with politics on the most local level possible.

Anyway, Jack left his home fairly young and lost contact with everyone. Our holidays together have been wonderful, shared with friends and the occasional visit to my folks on the East Coast....but family-wise everything felt so long distance.

I'm so glad we now have the added component of Jack's immediate family. It's a comfort to know there's somebody out there. Jack seems happier, too.  So there's a lot to celebrate.  

We're going to Jack's sister's house for Thanksgiving this year. We're both looking forward to seeing everyone and sharing cooking secrets.  As luck would have it, several of members of his brood are also home cooks so we have a LOT to talk about!

I'd love it if both families could meet and have a party....my sister and Jack's sister would probably get along famously and the funny thing is both are named similarly.  Jack's siste
Sr is "Carole" and my sister is "Carolyn."
Tell me that ain't something!

Well, the timer just rang on the old oven so it's time to pull out the pies and then get some rest!

So for now, Fifty Five is the new Ingredient, which is what it's always been....Love.

New Things Coming

Crazy, crazy, crazy!  

 That old adage about living in interesting times is sure ringing true here....and I'm not real sure how I feel about being in the front row to witness Armageddon. Did I really sign up for this?

So many major natural disasters....so many wars....so many people trying to harm one another.....and then there's the other stuff....not enough money, not enough truth.....sheesh!

Okay....so I'm here and apparently scheduled to watch what happens next. What ever it may be.  The planet is waking up and I expect there'll be some major earthquakes and so on this coming year....among other things.
All I can do is be prepared as possible.  As for the rest.....life goes on.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Things Coming.....and all I can say is bring it on.

Foundation

Somebody asked me what I hope to get out of this blog.  In truth, I hadn't thought about that....other than using the thing as an exercise to get me through a severe writer's block.

But seriously, there is more to it than that. All this examination of the self leads to self-improvement, doesn't it?
It's an opportunity to see where one has been and learn from those experiences to be prepared for the road ahead.

The past really does help with the future. It's like a building project...ya gotta start with a foundation. And that's the past...the foundation.  If that's made strong through learning as one goes along, the resultant structure-in this case a life-will be sturdy.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Foundation....building a human being, one year at a time.

Feeling Fit

Glacial Dream by rcw

There 's a chill coming in the air.  I can even smell the mountain snow in the breeze that's kicking random bits of paper and leaves up our street.

I love this time of year....even though the dampness wreaks havoc with my arthritis, there's till something vibrant and beautiful about it.  Pain be damned.

Really, I'm just not interested in having pain or infirmary slow me down....there's too much of life out there, just waiting to be explored.  To hell with stiff knees, they'll just have to keep up! That's why I got crutches....to MOVE! Not to stay still.

So for today, Fifty Five Is the New Feeling Fit...because I do, even if I got a little hitch to my git-along.

Kitchen Creativity

Cooking has always been a passion...from a very young age I can remember watching Mom in the kitchen, creating magic out of thin air budgets. Not just Irish Chili, either!

Passions  by rcw

Mom is where I learned to cook turkeys in paper bags, she's also the one who taught me not to be afraid to try new things.  Mrs. Schlosser, my home-ec teacher in public school finished the job, but Mom was the one who got me started on my culinary path.
Some day I want to write a cook book and when I do, I'll dedicate it to these two women.

I loved it around the holidays, when the house was full of spices and surprises.  Our kitchen was small...called a "galley" kitchen, which meant one long thin room with all the appliances against one wall.  It could fit more than one person at a time, providing both weren't trying to use the same appliances at the same time!  And we weren't small people, so things got extra cozy.

But somehow we managed.  The men and boys stayed, wisely, in the living room; their attention torn between football and finger food but they knew not to make a mess. Mom was a believer in coasters, napkins and the like, and didn't cotton to food fights or carpet stains.

To this day, Mom can be counted on for her famous potato salad, cole slaw, turkey or what ever else may be needed.  When ever I'm home, I ask her to please make me some Irish Chili...though I've come close, nobody does it quite like her..

Anyway, for the next month, I'll be practically living in our kitchen...creating cookies and breads for gifts, making turkeys for Thanksgiving and Christmas plus making lasagna for Jack's family celebration on 12/24.
I love this time of year!

So for today, Fifty Five is the new Kitchen Creativity....and it's onward to Bourbon Cookies, Apple Pies and other tasty treats!

Thoughts On Camping

Sure wish we were camping....oh, maybe not in this weather, but I mean if it were summer that's where I want to be.  Last time we went to Bear Creek, we had such a good time.

Randi at Bear Creek 2009

I don't mind the bugs too much; we put a bee tray (with some honeyed tea in it) off to one side and that keeps them from coming after me.  Mosquitoes are another thing all together.   Those mosquito candles help...and those coils too, but I wonder how they are in the environment?  I'd sure like to find something that works without harming the rest of the world.

Maybe we'll save up and get one of those screen tents....that could work.

Anyway, the important things about camping are the quiet....and the nature noises, no phones-not possible in the particular gully where we go-and believe it or not, all the things like building a fire, cooking out doors....I love all that.  Because after a long day of it all, there's the chance to put up one's feet, look up at the sky and see every star while listening to the wood crackling in the firepit.  Now that's living!

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Thoughts on Camping....can't wait to do it again!

Scientists

To Be  by rcw  (added 1/17/2011)

Life is such a mystery...and here we are, explorers all, learning about it "on the job" so to speak.  We start out as little clean slates that our experiences write upon every second we exist.  Where does all that knowledge go when we die?

Is it sent on to the great Cosmos in real time, as the experiences are occurring...or stored up in our brains somewhere to be released to It as we breathe our last mortal breath? I wonder. Or does it just go away like an old graveyard, moved to put in a shopping mall?

I think in some way, our knowledge becomes part of a whole Kind of like the SETI program; all these little components sending their version of what's going on back to a source for study.  Gee....gives one a new way view the common, every day file sharing!

And who's to say this can't be so?  That our reasons for being, vast as they may seem, are based on the common goal of uploading our individual files to that massive main frame (if that's even what they're called these days) for further study and comparison....hmm.

Where's Isac Asimov when ya need him?

Alright.  Let's play with the verbiage here just a bit and see if we can make it more palatable.

We are all born with both commonalities and unique qualities.  Just like everything else in creation if genetics is the fractal equation I believe it to be.  Everything experiences its own existence, interacts with others' existences and takes on the effects of these experiences, from being born through death. These things are stored in memory, and reviewed periodically.

What happens in death? The body dies.  Some say that's the end of it. Some say our spirits move on to a new life, or to our reward or to that most famous waiting room....Purgatory.   Of course there are those who've been promised virgins in heaven; although on behalf of women's rights everywhere I ask you-if they get virgins, what do women get?  And don't tell me we get to be one of the It Girls in the Afterlife, 'cos I'm not buying it! Don't sound like heaven to me!

Anyway, not meaning to offend anybody, but puuuleeeeezzzze!

Let's get back to basics.  What does everything have in common? Energy.
Energy has an interesting characteristic...It is.  Energy can be kenetic or potential, used or stored. But it cannot be destroyed.  It cannot be created either, because even if it is not perceived as being "active," it is still present.

Who or What does that sound like? (Note the capital letters on the who/what bit?)  If you picked any name indicating a Source, Supreme Being, Maker or What Ever you wish to assign said Possibility then give yourself a pat on the back.

This Source, etc, Is. Always Was, Always Will Be....we are part of All That. We come from There, and it is most humbling to feel that connection with the All because it also means we are all connected, too.  From our genetics down to our fingerprints, through our memories and beyond our dreams, we are all intertwined for some Purpose greater than ourselves.

What could that Purpose possibly be? 

Being.

It's a very good place to start.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Scientist, because that's what we are...under neath all the trappings we are experimenting....learning as we go along, and I have faith that something this intricately beautiful was put here for a Purpose.  And that Purpose is To BE.

Wave

Passions by rcw

Been a couple of days.

Sometimes love is the hardest emotion.  Sometimes it's just so deep, it hurts like nothing else possibly can. This should be no surprise, because in the state of love we are most vulnerable.

I know people who've been so intensely in love, that when the partner leaves or dies they are completely devastated. They fall apart and are never the same.  They turn off that switch inside, you know the one....the one that opens the heart and mind to wonderful potential and invites the universe in for a visit.

They cringe at the mere thought of allowing any more closeness, citing "too much pain," "not worth the hassle" and "if I was supposed to be with somebody, I'd be with them by now," or "once you've had the best, nothing else matters."

I understand their sentiments.

My love is truly an all-encompassing one, effecting mind, body and spirit equally. Jack and I have been together long enough to qualify for "aging married couple" status, although we are not wed.  We are used to each others' snores, belches and so on...and have,  for the most part, grown accepting of each one's  short comings.

That's not to say we are perfect, for we are not. But for the most part we manage to get over the rough spots unscathed, relationship intact.

Love isn't a smooth ride, but it is a sweet one.  It's like catching a wave in an ocean you've never been...feeling the board chutter and buck beneath your feet 'til you get your balance.  It can go a lot of different ways from that moment...you can be tossed off your board or ride through the tube, and those are just two scenarios.  Like surfing, you run risks....the coral, sharks, other surfers, your own board....and like surfing, you experience incredibly beautiful things too....the waves, the sky, the sensations of going through a fully formed tube.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Wave....surf's up! Let's Ride!

Living End

It's getting close to the new year....this year, 2010, has been something.....lots of natural disasters and revolutions...abroad and on the homefront.

Some people are calling these the End Times.  Bible preachers are having a field day, predicting the Date of the Final Coming, pointing out the Anti Christ, threatening Hell and Damnation for anyone not getting on their knees to Believe.

I'll admit the Gulf Disaster, Tsunami, Earthquake and War stuff are good arguments in favor of the End of the World. 

How do I feel about it?  Quite frankly, I don't really care too much.  If it's going to end soon, so be it. Gotta happen sometime, I mean everything has a shelf life....even our existence on this planet.  Does it worry me?
Not really.  I don't want it to hurt, but that's only human.  Most people don't like pain.

There are some who do....and they ought to enjoy the HELL out of the end when it comes.

So for tonight, Fifty Five Is The New Living End.....if that's what we're doing, let's do it to the hilt!

Question

It's so late that it's actually early in the morning; 4:20 a.m. to be exact. I've been awake, baking all night....some for Jack's birthday-which is now upon us!-and some for our dear friends Jan and Vincent.  They're in Sacramento over Sunday and Monday, so we are taking the opportunity to get together.They live in Dunsmuir, CA and we've visited them up there...beautiful country!

We've seen or heard from a lot of old friends recently....seems lots of people have the idea that changes are coming, and are trying to re-connect with one another. We're stocking up on staples like flour, coffee, sugar and so on....not in fear, but in preparation. 

I have a feeling it's gonna get a bit worse before it gets better.

The President went overseas to talk with the leaders of India, China, Korea, Japan and a few other places...
trying to drum up or make trade agreements that include some of the United States' interests.  He didn't get very far; apparently a great deal of the world thinks we're contemptible.

At a recent international summit on human rights issues, the United States was publicly flogged by a host of dignitaries, including or own Secretary of State.  Of course, America's been labeled Great Satan number one for years on the Jihad Hit Parade and is called the Great Whore of Babylon by several religious sects both foreign and domestic.

There's an idea floating about that the world should have a say in our government....even to the point of a seat in Congress.  When I first heard this, I thought...do we have seats in other governments? There are arguments saying that we've overtaken countries so it's the same thing.   No. Not really.

Our Constitution is not written for a global scenario.

I agree that the world has changed and that every nation is intertwined through things like trade, defense, etc.
BUT...there needs to be a way to include the unique nature of each culture in order to preserve what is good about our species.

Anyway.....that's my opinion at too early in the morning to be thinking about such things, but there you go.

For today, Fifty five is the new question....Where are we going? 
I wonder.

PATH

Empress by rcw

This aging business isn't all that graceful. Between the aches and pains, squeaks and grunts, weird spots, hot flashes and wild hairs growing out from nowhere I'm amazed that any of us ever leave the house! But we do....feisty Baby Boomers making the rounds, doing their day.

I see it all the time. Our neighborhood is particularly replete with folks my age....trying to figure out how to get comfortable in our own skin-which is difficult when the skin no longer resemble that radiant, supple hide of our youth.

We have a great assortment of the really Ancient looking Chinese folk....hunched under the weight of their recycling their cardboard and cans.  They amaze me with their agility and stamina.  Someone once expressed the theory that the reason we age and get sick is because we are fundamentally dehydrated. Their saying was "You're not sick, you're thirsty." That makes sense, especially if we consider our bodies are made up largely of water.  We need the right amount of it for our bodies to work properly-it really is that simple.

We also need the right amount of positive energy and faith in order to feed our minds and souls; positive energy to help us push on through and faith to keep us on the path.

So for today, Fifty Five Is the New

Venice in the 80s

For some reason my mind is wandering back to the days when Diane and I used to live in Venice, California.  That was during the '80s.  Diane was growing tired of the fog and wanted for some southern sun.  As luck would have it we came into just enough money to pull it off.

So after a fact-finding weekend where we secured an apartment, we came back to San Francisco and did another one of our famous month-long packing and garage sale-ing marathons.  This time we had enough stuff to use a moving company, so that's what we did.  Of course the kitties (Molly and Star), Diane and yours truly took to the sky and arrived at our new door step on May 31, 1982 or thereabouts.

That's roughly when we met Janie too. She was sitting in the apartment manager's place when we came by to let him know we arrived. Janie was and remains a true sister-friend. She's presently still in Venice, but hopes to move to San Francisco soon.

Anyway, over the next few days we made the tiny beach studio ready for our furnishings, which somehow all managed to fit in the ultra-tiny space. Thus began our eight year adventure in Southern California....through the years we'd do a lot of interesting, fascinating, rewarding and fun things.  But we also did a lot of growing.
A lot of learning. A lot of healing.

I like looking back on those days; all the friends we made, the times we had....through it all, there was Diane my dear, dear sister-friend. I sure miss her.

Anyway, for today Fifty Five Is The New Venice in the 80s....that's where I really began to be me.

Joy

Back In The Studio!

First off, it's my Mom's birthday.  She can't get online, so doesn't get to read the blog but I'm sending the love and wishes out through the internet anyway (and already mailed a card too).  Happy Birthday, Mom! 

Aside from that, I keep hearing all this dire news on t.v.... I know things are bad, so what else is new?

We're all supposed to be walking around with furrowed brows, clouds of unspeakable doom and gloom hanging over our heads like a bad hair day. And it's not like there's nothing to complain about. But I can't. I just can't. Not today.

For today is the day we got the recording equipment set up and operating. Today Jack and I finally did something we've been trying to do for a number of years and several false starts...we recorded our music on our very own multi-track recorder.

Okay, so the world didn't come to a complete stop....nobody got out of school for a holiday and I don't see any parades forming, but in the midst of all the splendor and chaos of this human existence, two people had the beginnings of a dream come true.

I know what you're asking.  "Now wait a minute...what about all that music on the internet. The stuff on YouTube.  The audio on SonicBids.  Where did that come from?"

Well...we also have a little GNX 4 Stomp Box that we've been using as a mini-4track recorder.  Problems with it are that you can't plug enough microphones and so on into it to use all 4 tracks at once.  At least as far as this addled brain has been able to figure out.  Still, it's done the job and has been a blessing.

I'm not the greatest techie these days; instruction manuals are getting more difficult to read.  Part of it is comprehension, that old learning disability rearing its ugly head.  Some if it is just plain impatience through the  learning curve.

One thing I know for certain....not all of life is misery and heartache.  Once in while there's some absolute joy to be had, and there ain't nothin' wrong with that.  We actually need more of it

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Joy...because it is out there, just gotta find it and experience it.