Me

Glacier in a dream by rcw

Here it is, April 14, 2011.....my 56th birthday and the last entry for this particular blog.

To the left is the most current piece of artwork, done this morning in my usual program, CorelDRAW....this time X4.
I've been using the CorelDRAW series of programs since CorelDRAW 1, which goes to show how long ago this part of my learning process began.

Most of the art pieces displayed in this blog have been rendered or at least added to via one of the CorelDRAW programs. 

To date, I am still it's humble student. Still mastering parts of it from earliest releases, let alone keeping up with current updates.

Just like life; so many layers, so many mysteries.....so many days. Each new day an update.

As this particular project comes to a close, I'm filled with a sense of accomplishment, but also a sense of the bittersweet. I guess that's common as most things end.

On the one hand, I've completed something....maybe I didn't write every single day, but none the less I saw it through.  That, for many -including yours truly sometimes- is a major deal.

At the same time, this year-plus project has been a unique opportunity to participate in this aging milestone in a positive and creative manner rather than limiting my vistas to taking stock in the ravages of time as marked by greying hair and sagging chins.

Not that I don't have both. I do. and plenty of both to spare. But they are inconsequential when compared to the experiences and miracles, pinnacles and pitfalls of this life thus far. And the fact that it's not over yet only fills me with the wonder and anticipation of a child awaiting Christmas morning.

San Francisco Homes rcw

That may not sound politically correct in this highly-charged culture in which we live, but in this year of 2011 I'm a little too old to mind my verbiage to that consistency. And besides, Political Correctness is just another  word for Censorship.

Manners are something else all together. Having respect for one another-regardless of race, color, creed, sex, generation, age, financial situation, living condition, pet ownership, species, job description or any other avenue of potential hatred (or lawsuit possibility)-should be something that is taught first at home, then reinforced in other sources of education and social interaction.

If we want our society to change there is only one way to do it....and that's to do it.  Our public lives should be managed much as we would handle our private lives, and with at least as much responsibility, culpability and accountability. A healthy respect for Karma needs to be thrown into the mix....somehow that got away from us....skipped a generation or something.

All this fancy talk is coming from someone who's got plenty of Karma on their back.....all of it admitted to and earned. It's a heavy load, but no where near as heavy as that which is being drawn together for those who violate Cosmic and Common Law.   But that's not for me to judge....I'm too busy carrying my own.

Having said all that, today feels kind of like a graduation, and I suppose it is; having re-lived memories, shared joys and heartaches, faced demons, fought depressions, found sanity; laughed, cried and written my way through over 300 entries. But more than that, having lived through those original moments and having made it thus far is, in and of itself, an accomplishment.

Jack and Randi

Not a perfect life, mind you.  To the contrary. And to those who I've ever hurt intentionally or not, I am truly sorry. If there was a way to change any of it I would. But we aren't given that luxury. Please know, you are in my prayers forever and I hope you found twice as much joy as the sorrow I caused. 


In spite of or because of it all, I am fortunate to have found Jack and to have him in my life....a most wonderful person, friend, partner, lover and more.  I've been blessed with getting to know my birthson, with wonderful family members and friends....including Wylie T. Katz. 

Lots of people don't have half as much as I've been given...and for that, there's more that's expected.  As is only fair in the grand scheme of things. That's what volunteering is all about.

Teaching at Glide, working for Dennis Peron, the Co-Op have all been part of giving back to the community. Even now, although I've had to modify my schedule a bit, I still try to help out whenever possible. There's still so much work to do.

Randi Webster    rcw

So as this blog comes to a close, for me personally what does Fifty Five Is The New mean? After so many examinations of the question, have I come to any conclusion?

Well, yes.  For today, Fifty Five Is The New.....Me. 
Now...onward now to the next....Let's see what 56 is all about!

May the Holy Spirit of Peace and the Healing Power of Love abide and grow in the hearts and the minds of All.....Amen.

Fortune cookie Futures

Today is Thomas Jefferson's birthday and the day before my own.  Have a good one, Tom....and thanks for the founding documents!

It started out rainy earlier this morning, woke up around 5:30 a.m. and got a chance to listen to the drops pat against the side of the house.  I love that sound...it's great for things like sleeping or writing.

Tomorrow is my 56th birthday.  Teri and the Oakland crew celebrated with me over last weekend, but Jack and Jack White want to celebrate tomorrow with special pizza, some nice cannabis, some old movies and a couple of shots to toast the occasion.  Sounds like a good plan to me!

While at T's we had Chinese Food-yummy!  I especially love hot and spicy Chinese food and where T gets it, they know how to do it right!  Funny thing though, my fortune cookie.  Actually I opened three.....the first one said "Prepare for something unexpected."  The second "You will soon need to make a decision on an important matter." and the third "Be prepared for something very soon."

Hmmmm.  What could it all mean?

Some people don't believe in fortune cookies or tarot cards or palm reading....they think these things are  purely superstition, evil from the devil or just something for children to do.  I'm not so sure.

The Fool   by rcw

I've read tarot cards before and have been impressed with the results, according to the responses of those who've asked me to read for them.  And I have a theory on how these things work.  In the case of tarot, I think the cards act as a kind of conduit into the psyche of the person being read. 

As for fortune cookies....luck of the draw?  Don't know.  But I'm keeping my eyes open for what it might mean.  I know we need to be prepared for earthquakes and fiscal disaster....we've done our best with what we have as far as emergency supplies go.  Money is tight, but we did stock up on food and water, pet supplies and first aid.  I'm waiting on some new flashlights ordered via the internet....should be coming any day. 

Other than that, well we've done our best. Life goes on, and if a disaster has my name on it, I pray to face it full on in faith.  That's it, that's all.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Fortune Cookie Futures.....simply put, be prepared, don't be scared.

Blog To Be

It's getting close to the end of this blog....over a year's worth of time, even if not every day included an entry. But it's been more than that.  It's been an examination of self, a meditation on the way of the world and how it effects someone personally, a form of discipline....a combination of all of the above and then some.

Blogging is similar to Diary keeping, but then again completely different. Most diaries are extremely private, personal things; complete with locks and keys.  Blogs, if set up to do so, are out there for the world to see...but at the same time there's a sense of something deeply personal conveyed through the content's delivery, lending a voyeuristic quality to the genre. Of course, all this depends on the person doing the writing.

Over the next two days I'm going to figure out what to do next, blog-wise. I may do one incorporating a favorite  passion....cooking. No matter what, there'll be continued updates on Boo Boo's Bargain Basement Band as we continue to create music and videos and prepare for our Cadillac Campsite Tour, stories about Wylie T. Katz and everybody/everything else.  In a sense, the next will be a continuation of the first; as in life....so it goes.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New

What's Next?

Back home from Oakland; the welcoming committee (Wylie and Jack White) greeted me at the top of the stairs when my sweetie brought me home. 


As much fun as it was over the weekend, it's good to be home.It's okay that there's laundry to do and paper work to finish up; I'm relaxed now and ready to handle it.

And part of that work includes this blog; quickly coming to the end of its cycle.  Three more days, to be exact...then what?  More blogging?  Probably so....although with a different theme.  Not sure what that will be yet, but the answer will come. Meanwhile....I'm still breathing,  the world keeps spinning, the national debt keeps growing and the tectonic plates keep rolling around. So there's still lots to write about.  No time to stop now.....things are just getting interesting!

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New What's Next?  Who knows?  But it should be an interesting ride!

Relaxation Therapy

Away at Miss T's for a weekend of birthday celebrationing.....Mali (Teri's room mate) and I are April babies so there's reason to party!

Bless T, Mali and Donna (the other room mate), all dear, dear friends....we never get enough time together, and when we are together we have a great time.

Most often we watch movies, have a couple of drinks and just relax, watching the humming birds and other critters that drop by her place for a morning feed.  When it comes to kicking back, back porches are best! In truth, there's nothing else like it in the world.

I'm going to keep this entry brief; still at Teri's and the birds are about! Oh! Only four more days 'til I'm 56.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Relaxation Therapy....sitting on the back porch, watching humming birds.

Chill Out

Going to friend Teri's over the weekend for an early birthday celebration.  It'll be good to see her again, and also good for a little change of pace.

We don't do anything much....just watch movies, have a few sips of something special, eat some good food and enjoy one another's company.   We've been friends since Diane and I returned to San Francisco from Venice....sure was good finding such a great friend....same thing with Janie. 

So I may not write anything into the blog for a couple of days.....I might write something on paper and then add it later, but we'll see.  My main goal this weekend, after several weeks of grueling paperwork, helping with taxes and so on, A chance to unwind, take my mind off things and relax.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Chill Out...because that's just what I intend to do. 

Of Budgets and Bombs

They're spinning speeches and trying to argue out their differences on Capitol Hill today; trying to keep the government from closing down.  As a nation, our credit card is maxed out and folks from both sides of the aisle are having a field day on getting their political points infused into the argument.

Agendas abound as the Majority Leader cites things like abortion funding as a reason for not passing the current budget, and the Minority Leader cites things like BLM employees waiting for paychecks.....spending and policy, spending and policy.  A push-me-pull-you debate that will either be settled by midnight tonight, or the United States government effectively shuts down.

They assure us that things like Social Security will not be effected....yet. $38billion in cuts being talked about.
Funding for the military is still on the table.

Personally, I wish to be off disability and earning a decent living.  Always wanted to do that and even held a few jobs, but they didn't last long.  Only "jobs" that seem to last for me are voluntary-that is, no pay or benefits.   But when I plunk down the resume at a place for employment, my many years of computer graphics experience, typing ability (used to be 150 wpm, now down to about 100 due to arthritis) they look at my crutches and my age and all the sudden the position has been filled.

I try to earn money online, most of this involves an investment of some sort....which I don't have.  But I do these online surveys, that helps a little; to the tune of about $50.00 a month.  Not much, but every little bit helps.

We need to get our government's house in order....every one needs to work together, regardless of political affiliation. 

As we listen to the news, Iran's  Shafi' Zadeh nuclear plant is being loaded with Russian fuel.  Some say that this site is actually a weapon base. Some are saying this is a dangerous thing, while others accuse the USA of meddling in others affairs....that we shouldn't be concerned.  What's really going on? Which way is up? 

The news these days is enough to make one's head spin.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Of Budgets and Bombs....headlines in the news, or maybe its just a crazy dream.

Hands-On-Dreaming

We interrupt global warming, the budget conflict, the riots in the streets everywhere and all other madness and mayhem to make this announcement:

WE RECORDED YESTERDAY!

This incredible event has me dancing on air, feeling alive and wonderful.....Jack felt well enough to work on his song "Rock n Roll Attitude" for a few hours today; and not just sitting on the bed tinkering ....he went into the studio and we recorded and filmed, with the help of our friend Jack White. 

Sure, it sounded a little rusty...he's not been playing much lately and forgot a few words, but none the less it felt good seeing him at the microphone, guitar in hand, making music.  He got tired after a couple attempts and laid down for the rest of the day, but felt that he accomplished something.  So that's good.

I feel happy too....and pray that my Jack gets feeling better and better every day, for his own sake.  And also for a few selfish reasons; I love him and want him to have a good quality of life, I want us to make music and continue on with our dream. 


So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Hands-On Dreaming, sculpting our hopes into reality....one day at a time.

For What It's Worth

Crosby Stills, Nash (and Young) sang a song "For What It's Worth."
That song's going through my head a lot these days.

There's talk that the government is going to shut down if a budget agreement is reached.  What exactly does that mean?  Do Congress and the Senate still get  paychecks?  Does the President?  Who really is effected by this shut down, and if we saw it coming why wasn't politics set aside so that something pro-active could happen?

I don't understand.  I don't think even the Dali Lama could figure it out.

I am trying not to sound like I believe everything that Glenn Beck has to say, because I don't.  But having independently checked, through sources of my own,  what he's saying I wonder if he isn't hitting things on the mark....at least some of the time.

Now I understand he's leaving the Fox News Network.  I wonder where he'll land next.

But what's going on isn't about personalities really, it's about a jolting and absolute change in the world, and in our country....that change from Government to Governance is not only subtle, it is deceiving. To go from a representational structure to a managerial one is quite a shift, although the verbiage would have us believe otherwise.

Of course there are so many people in the world that on many things a consensus needs to be reached.  We need to find a way to live on this ball of dirt, 'cos that's all we got.   But how do we do it without either annihilating one another or becoming a planet of sheeple ruled by tyranny?

How do we find that place where there is enough governing without smothering and destroying human potential? How do we look for our best possible selves and not use that search as an excuse for promoting ethnic purity and genocide?

For today, Fifty Five Is The New

Better Angels Of Our Nature

Looking around, why should the ramblings of any one individual matter when the world all around seems poised to annihilate itself at the drop of a hat? Yet there are many people out there, blogging and keeping websites....letting their thoughts be seen/heard/experienced/shared by and with others.

And who knows, in the great somewhere out there where all broadcasts and ideas go, maybe others might be following.....

And if so, hello.

For what ever reason, we humans have been leaving monuments since we first got the idea to do so....way back when we scratched a mark onto a cliff side, built mounds, stacked rocks or built sky scrapers. But even more, we've been leaving records of our thoughts, words, deeds and dreams; through art, music, story telling, the printed word, poetry, dance, theater and other media. 

And let us not forget the sciences....the mathematics.....the analysis of it all that forces us to seek the meaning of it all.  This, too, is art....sharing the same longing that an artist has for brush and canvas.  This passion is also found in the job well done; be it a physics equation or sweeping a floor, delivering the mail or collecting the trash.....there's an artistry in everything done to the best of one's true ability.

That doesn't mean no competition; nor does it mean everybody is going to succeed. That's not natural, and like it or not we are natural beings. "Civilization" as a commonality seems to mean little more than that we don't use our dinner cutlery to slit each others' throats at a banquet.  And these days even that line has been crossed with suicide bombers taking out restaurants full of people.

I know the world is changing.  I know certain things will never be the same once this reshuffling takes place and that it's going to get a little crazy for a while.  But I'm also going to have faith that the better angels of our nature will ultimately win, because it's all just too beautiful....to interesting....to let it end on an ash heap.

So for today, Fifty Five Is the New better angels of our nature.....because.

Memories of School Bus Days

 

Going through some of our old photos, I came across this one from around 1994 or so....we were living in our school bus home on the streets of San Francisco.

In many ways it was a good life; not an easy one by any means....but we got by.  We made our own electricity, found and pumped our own water, took care to dump our own waste.  Like true pioneers. And we managed to do it for about three years.

We parked at China Basin the majority of the time, along with others who preferred wheel estate to real estate.

It was like a little, loosely connected community of individualistic folk who found an alternate way to live. 

Sometimes I miss that lifestyle; being able to park somewhere wonderful to watch the sunset while eating a nice home cooked meal, the million dollar view we had through our windshield, the way folks watched as we drove by....even our kitty, Mocha, seemed to enjoy it.

But life changes, and we along with it.  All that's left are the memories, but they are plenty to keep me happy.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Memories of School Bus Days...the old 58 GMC, still sweet on my mind.

Diane Remembered

Diane

It's been 3 years since Diane passed....still feels strange to say that, even though her friends knew it was coming for a very long time. Diane acted like she didn't know, or at least like she didn't believe it was possible all the way up to the day she died, or at least that's the way it seemed.

She kept trying new tests, new procedures, new chemotherapies...followed diets that would starve anybody, pretty much obsessed on her health to the exclusion of all else, including her artwork.  It was sad and difficult to watch....knowing we were seeing someone die before our eyes.

Damn that disease!  Damn Ovarian Cancer! 

Tonight I'll raise a glass to toast my friend. I'll remember our time together and perhaps shed a tear or two....wishing things could have been better for her.

But for what ever reason she had that experience, I am grateful to have had such a friend in my life.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Diane Remembered, because friends like that you don't forget.

Slow Down

Rush! Rush! Rush!  That's all I seem to do; hithering and yonning until there's nothing left of the day but pieces of evening....and even they are sliced into moments of gotta-dos.

It seems a common complaint. And I wonder how we allowed ourselves to get like this.

Is it our quest for success or at least the physical attributes that denote to the world? Are we so busy trying to prove ourselves to others that we leave no time to live for ourselves? And if so, why?

I used to obsess over getting approval; from my parents and family, teachers, church.....just like lots of other people, eh?
Truth be told, between seeking approval from others and trying to force life to bend to my  will, I wasted a lot of valuable, unreplacable  time!  And no matter what, Time Chasers never catch their quarry.

We all have done it...get so caught up in making things go according to our plans that our plans end up getting us caught up in them.  And then we're left to wonder why we feel like fragments by day's end....and life goes on as it did before we started muddling with it.

I'm not saying making plans are bad. Just that adaptability is a key ingredient that we should start teaching kids at a young age, so they know how to deal with life as it really is.

So for today, Fifty Five is the Slow Down, because the hurrier I go, the behinder I get.

April 2011

It's the first day of April.  Tradition has it that one should play pranks or practical jokes on others on this day.  I wonder how that began, and why they picked the first day of April to do it. 

Maybe all that waiting around for winter weather to clear up.....just had to put all that pent-up energy somewhere....why not put a whoopie cushion under the boss' butt during the conference?  Sounds perfectly logical to me!

Of course, April is a lot more than tom-foolery...'tis the month which houses things like Easter (lots of the time, but not always), the day Lincoln was shot (and died), the day the Titanic hit the ice berg (and sank), and of course April 15th....tax day.

Suffice to say, it's a jam-packed month!

And, oh yes....my 56th birthday lives in this month too.  Gee.  How time flies when you're living it!

I'm hoping Jack will feel well enough to go out today; I want to get us some fresh air now that the sun is shining.  It's been raining and nasty for weeks, but finally there's a break in the weather.

It might just help Jack feel a little better to get some sunshine and a change of scene. He's just so tired these days....wish we could help him somehow.  We're stopping by the clinic while we're out....getting some blood work done.  I hope they can find out something to help Jack.  Maybe he just needs an adjustment in his medications.  I hope that's all that's to it.

Right now it's fairly early in the morning; I'm listening for the trash collection truck to come beep-beeping up the hill.  That can happen anywhere between 5:30 AM and 7:30 AM.  Some times there's more than one visitation.  The condos up the street require special  attention several days a week.  They must generate a lot of garbage.

I wonder where it all finally goes.  Landfills, I guess.  Although there are a couple of "garbage islands" floating around our oceans.  That's got to be an incredible sight.  Islands made of garbage.  Who knew we'd make enough rubbish to form our own land masses.

Anyway, I'm just babbling at this point. So I'll leave it at that.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New April 2011....because that's what it is.

Look Forward

Randi at 1444 Market St. circa 1997

It's getting down to the final days of this blog....after over a year of writing what Fifty Five Is the New might mean, some might wonder if I've come to any conclusions.

Yes, I have.  I'll be summing it all up as April 13th  turns into April 14th and I enter into my fifty-sixth year. For now, there's still so much going on....in the world, in the country, in the city and in my own life.
To even think of a conclusion at this point would be beyond premature...it would be patently unfair.

Today there's news from Japan that radioactivity continues to be found in the ocean, the milk and produce and in areas outside their government's original danger zone.

In the Middle East, people continue to take to the streets...demanding an end to despotism and tyranny.  Our country helps some of them, while others are left to fend for themselves.

It's a sticky wicket trying to figure out the difference between political expediency and humanitarian activity sometimes.

And then of course we have our own problems here in America; the economy, the unions, the military actions....on and on. With all that, thinking about personal things seems egotistical and somehow improper.
But what is one to do?

I don't have the answers for the world's problems...let alone my own!  I can only struggle through day to day, dealing with things as they come up and hope for the best.  That's what we all do here on this mortal coil. That's what living is all about.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Look Forward because next is what's coming up!

Neighborhood Revisited

It's time to take a break from all the revolutions, earthquakes, tsunamis, wars, recessions and other mayhem.

I seem to be doing that a lot lately.  I still watch the news, gotta keep up with it all!  So while it rambles on via the t.v. in the background, I turn attention to something different.

We live in a great part of town; Russian Hill.  Situated between North Beach and Chinatown, we get the best of both worlds.   Since we first moved to the City, Diane and I wanted to live in this area; sure wish she was alive so we could enjoy it together.

Back in the old days, we used to haunt the streets of Chinatown...the dim sum shops, oriental art stores and especially the herb stores and vegetable stands.  We experienced Hot and Sour soup for the first time together....beads of sweat hatching across our foreheads, eyes almost watering from the spice. 

The place is still there, although it's been remodeled.

One place that hasn't changed is Sam Wo's....entering through the kitchen, diners ascend the narrow staircase that leads them to several floors set up for dining.  Fortunately for the serving staff, a dumb waiter delivers food rather than them having to carry it.

It's not the best food, certainly not the worse....what it is mostly is Sam Wo's.....cranky waitress and everything. Diane and I shared many a happy time there....Jack and me, too.

 

It's good to reflect on happy times, especially when things are going rough.  And looking around at the world today, I'd say things are a bit rough.  It is exciting to see people rising up for freedom; prayers that they are not over run by folks with alternative motives, trying to steal their thunder for their own purposes.

But for today, for this moment anyway, Fifty Five Is The New Neighborhood Revisited....because sometimes ya just gotta look around and appreciate what's there.

Day

March is leaving us with sunny skies and warmer days than we've had in months...it's good to feel the dampness leaving my bones.  But I do wonder what kind of damage is being done to our atmosphere by the continued radiation leaking from the reactors in Japan.

Call me paranoid, but that stuff can't be good.

Not that I think we should do away with the entire science of Nuclear Power....but we do need to figure out how to make it, and all the other sources and potential sources of energy safer.  That's a given.  But it needs to be done on a global scale, because if only one nation does it...it's useless.

 

But right now, I'm going to enjoy the robin's egg blue sky and glorious, streaming rays of yellow sunshine!

It's beautiful!

So today, for me, Fifty Five Is The New Day...

Sign of the times

It seems that every day we're being told about protests, wars, violence....not just abroad.  OUr own streets are becoming alive with a sense of anger.  It bristles as I walk by some people....my usual cheery "hello" stifled a bit since a experience where my head was almost torn off just because I said "hello."

What is going on?

In Flight....rcw

Beck shows diagrams on blackboards, lining up connections between George Soros, the old Weathermen, President Obama and the Muslim Brotherhood.

Scary in that he's able to show films of some of these people saying things.....is able to show books like "The Coming Insurrection" and outline pending scenarios....and they seem to be coming down.
In fairness, I watch other news stations too and am sometimes alarmed in their lack of coverage and/or inaccurate portraying of some of Fox News persons.

I consider myself a "liberal," but am not interested in having my country overthrown.  I believe that sis, earning a living is a good idea, I believe that a flat tax would be fair, I believe that disabled and retired persons who are currently on benefits shouldn't be kicked off but also believe that if you don't need it, there are others who do.

There's a certain amount of "socialism" that works....but not as much as I sense is trying  to occur on a global level.  The EU doesn't really work; it's robbed the possibility of individual nations to save themselves because their hands are tied. It's like when a person moves into a condominium or housing community...they have no rights about how the lawn looks or even, in some cases, what curtains are put in the windows!

I don't want to live like that....don't want to have my thoughts, my life censored.

My parents used to talk about the Communists.  When we were kids, probably during the Bay of Pigs/Cuban Missile Crisis, we had air raid drills. Mom said we were fighting the Communists; that the Virgin Mary said they would take over the world if we didn't pray the Rosary every day.

I remember Nikita K. hammered his shoe on the table and the translator saying something about "we will bury you".   Later he or someone else said that they didn't have to worry about burying us, we would fall from the inside out. 

As the '60s marched on around us, Mom surely thought the end was near back then. Now? She thinks it's really going to hell in a hand basket.  She may be right.

I am not pleased at how these so-called social navigators are out to destroy "capitalism," because that's not all they are destroying.  In truth, a mix of capitalism and socialism would work best....but they don't want that, and even worse...they want to use violence to get what they want.

Every other revolution of this type usually ends in Tyranny.

If anyone is counting votes, I'm not interested in destroying America.  I am interested in fixing it. Without bloodshed.

What I envision is transcendence....I believe it is possible. Into what? I don't know, only that I pray it is better that the road on which we presently tread.

May the Holy Spirit of Peace and the Healing Power of Love abide and grow in the Hearts and the Minds of All, Amen.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New

Hearts to Action

January 10, 2010 an earthquake struck Haiti.

They're still cleaning up from it all.

Regardless of what some say, not all the aid is getting through....and that which does get through is never enough, never enough for all the help that is needed.

I don't ask readers of this blog for anything.  Personally, the writing is its own reward... But places like Haiti, Japan....locations where hell has truly visited....they need help, so please.  Do what you can....be it money, time, or prayers. It's all needed.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New

Sense of Satisfaction

Geraldine Ferrero passed.  First woman to run for Vice President of the USA on a major ticket, Ms. Ferrero passed after a long battle with blood cancer. Rest in peace.

Seems like as I age, more and more people are dying. Like every generation before, mine is coming to terms with its own mortality, albeit vicariously through our celebrated contemporaries.

I remember thinking that life would go on forever, that there was some magic bubble that was insulating me from the progression of time. At around age 40 it suddenly dawned on me that the calendar wasn't lying.  Physical aging wasn't bothering me; I was (and still am) proud of each gray hair, each furrow of the brow. I earned them all, and wear them proudly as badges of survival.

Just the fact that time's passing reminded me of how much I still wanted to accomplish.

At age 55 plus, I feel a bit more content, a bit more fulfilled.  There are still a lot of thing I want to do; publish some writing, earn enough money through my abilities to get off SSI, spend some quality time with my family and birthson, perform music live on a regular basis.....and so on and so on.  But if I died tomorrow, I'd be satisfied enough for what's taken place so far.

I've had my share of troubles, but have also had my share of blessings...and for both I am eternally grateful.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Sense of Satisfaction....a good feeling to have at this stage of the game.

Game Plan

It's early.  I've got a ton of running around to do and it's raining.  UGH!

Luckily I have a great rain poncho, so don't need to hassle with an umbrella.  They don't make 'em for folks like me who use two crutches and have no free hands.  Closest I've seen is an umbrella hat, but that's not very practical and doesn't really keep anything dry.

A few friends have said they're not going outside until they're certain the radiation from Japan isn't coming over to California.   I got news for them, it is.  But so what! I can't be shaking in my boots waiting for the next boogie man.  To hell with that!

Personally, I can't hide from everything, nothing will get done!  Besides, if an isotope has my name on it, so be it.  When my time comes I'm ready.

Not that there's nothing to fear.  There's tons to fear....all over the place.  Between the terrorists, the pollution and (some say non-existent) global warming, the economy, the increase in global tectonic activity and just plain aging, there's a lot to worry about.  Anybody who isn't concerned is either dead or oblivious to the world around them.

But that's no reason to simply stop living.  Going into hiding is a short-term solution at best. In the end, what ever it is that is the Apocalypse will happen and will hit everybody....no matter how thick the walls or how deep the bomb shelter.

The best thing we can do is just go on living.
That old Deer-in-the-headlights look doesn't suit me, at any rate.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Game Plan....living.  The only game in town.

Thoughts on Diane

Made this meditation/picture originally for Diane...she hung it by her bedside.  She used to talk about wellness, and took such care of herself that when Cancer struck it was a major surprise to everyone!

Her long battle with the disease was a combination of tragedy and inspiration. She wrestled with death 'til the last, denying its nearness until moments before her final breath.

Her denial was hard to take sometimes, but then again that's how she handled the horror I'm sure swum around her mind when the world was still and the drugs kept her from sleeping.

Until the end she didn't want narcotics. I am still amazed at that; the pain must have been severe. She did take medicines to help with her nerves, and of course 'til she couldn't any more, medical cannabis. 

When she died, she left some of her friends in her will, including yours truly.  Bless her. It was enough to pay some of my debts and upgrade computers, musical instruments and get the video production under way.  Jackaranda Graphics and Sound was only possible because of Diane.  My hope is we can really make it work, in her honor.
Now she's gone and I miss her.

Star in Heaven

On the heels of everything else comes the news that Elizabeth Taylor, one of Hollywood's Royalty, has passed at the age of 69, due to congestive heart failure.

This violet-eyed enigma stole our hearts at a very young age and it is with sweet fondness that we pay homage to her as a person, a performer and a humanitarian.

The Cosmos is enriched as your star shines bright tonight; much as you enriched our lives with your presence.

Elizabeth Taylor was creative and courageous. She inspires one to take what is on life's plate and make something of it...because it is possible.  Dreams do come true.  I learned that from National Velvet those many years ago.  We had the book, with Elizabeth's young face illustrated on the cover with the beloved horse.

I took that book, and the movie when I saw it, to heart.  Still do.

So Elizabeth....one of my favorite names by the way...for today, Fifty Five is the New Star in Heaven....for you, from one of your ardent fans and admirers. Rest in peace, work like hell....we still need your strength here on Earth. Thanks. Amen.

Working through

We're all here for at least one purpose.  We all have dreams, too.   Sometimes the two are related, sometimes they are not.

For years I wasn't sure, and I think that insecurity is why success wasn't fully realized.  Not that there weren't any good moments, or even minor victories.  But that real "ta-da," standing ovation type of success has always been elusive.

With everything going on in the world, I feel a little selfish even thinking about my own desires and dreams.   There are people in Japan, ferchristsake, who have more important things to worry about, to gripe about, than whether or not they're going to make it in music, or art....hell! They're too busy worrying about everything-like shelter, food, their relatives and friends!

Any struggle I may have experienced is little more than an inconvenience when compared to what they are going through! For my birthday, I may do one of those Make A Wish things, raise a little money for the folks over there.  I'll look into it.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Working Through....because we have to keep going.

Video - You Drive

We pause in the midst of mayhem and tsunamis to announce the birth of our latest video, "You Drive."
Somehow in spite of all the computer glitches and other personal things, we managed to get it together enough to do something creative!

And more exciting news; Jack felt well enough to make some music....only a few minutes, but its a start.
Good to have him on the mend.

Well, I'm keeping this entry short because I've been working on finishing touches of the video most of the night.  It's not perfect, but it is done.  And can be seen on YouTube!

Here's the YouTube address for it:  
http://www.youtube.com/user/BargainBasementBand?feature=mhum#p/u/0/XUrwJ_3ae2M
If anybody's out there reading this, check it out and let me know what you think!

A lot has been going on in the world, none of it should be ignored....and I'm not. I'm just putting it all on hold for this brief moment to acknowledge this accomplishment.

 The song is kind of like if Lou Reed (during his "Transformer" days) tried to write a song like "Jesus Take The Wheel."   Sometimes prayers go like that.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Video - You Drive.....been working on it for a while and now at last it's done.

Attitude about War

Atomic Sunrise  rcw

Years ago I was much less hawkish than today; at least that's how it sounds to me.

Many of my peers are opposed to us helping Libya....they see it as just another war, just another opportunity for colonialist USA to expand its sphere of influence.

I don't see it that way.
I see it as the Libyans people calling for our help.  I see it as an opportunity for us to do the right thing. 

We need to live our convictions. We need to live by our words.

I am grateful that we are finally helping those people and pray for a good, swift outcome with minimal loss of life.
If that sounds too war-like for an old hippie from the '60s, so be it.  Sometimes ya just gotta stand up and fight.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Attitude about war...sometimes it is a necessary evil.

Madmen

The goings-on in Libya are beyond extreme....and our slow response of support is an insult to the people fighting to the death for liberty.  Their leader seeks the blood of his country, while ours acts as if nothing of great interest is going on.

By virtue of our founding documents-read "mission statement"-we believe that all people have rights given them by their Creator, and that we hold these truths to be self evident.   And we died for these things and swore never to permit them to occur on our soil, within our purview, or scope of influence.

But we forgot.  We bastardized our foundations, crippled our constitution and placed greed over honor in our list of priorities.  Using what is called progress, many of our leaders have filtered the interpretation of laws, customs, cultures and conventions into something that hardly resembles the original intentions of our founders.

When will we realize that our worst enemy is not from the outside, but from within. Much of the hatred felt for us in the world, and within our own citizenry, comes from our own hypocrisy.

Here's hoping we can change.
Here's praying we help those brave people in Libya.

For today, Fifty Five Is the New Madmen....and we got a ton of them alive in the world today.  Some folk are even calling it the End Time.   I prefer to think of it as a period of time during our learning curve.  Let's hope we learn these lessons well so they are never repeated.

Definition

Fractal Gateway  rcw

What does it all mean? All these things going on in our lives, do they mean anything more than mere happenings?

On the scale of things using the geologic time clock, our planet is just going through what it goes through every so often....part of the process.  Then again, if you look more toward the religious point of view some might say it's the end of the world.

Living in interesting times does have its consequences; who knew they'd be anything like this?

We watch in stunned horror as more videos, pictures and stories of the Japanese earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster parade across our t.v.s and video screens.  We try to find words to express the various emotions rolling over us, much like the great tsunami waves... uprooting, forcing, pushing then dragging, pulling back out to sea....

We try to define it, this force awakening from deep within our planet. We try to put it in a box so we can understand it, but it doesn't quite fit.  The box doesn't shut tight, its' contents are permitted to peek out from beneath the lid.

Sometimes it makes me want to run and hide....fear does that.

But we can't live like this, can't live under the lodestone of fear; can't be made to believe all is lost.
The planet is part of us, we're part of it. 

For better or worse, for what ever it is, we are here now.....and alive.

So for today, Fifty Five is the New Definition....being alive now, in the moment....even though it's difficult, calling it like we see it....life.

St. Pat's

My mother's father was full-blown Irish, all the way down to the faint brogue that tinted the edges of some of his words.  He had to leave school in the fifth grade to work in the coal mines in Scranton, Pennsylvania. He got out of the mines and worked at Westinghouse, moving his family from the hills down to Philadelphia.
So, with true Irish blood pulsing through my veins, I proclaim Erin Go Brah! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

In honor of the day, here's a poster from Boo Boo's Bargain Basement Band...green themed of course.


It is funny how folks get upset at Christmas songs and creches but they don't seem to mind bending their elbows at a bar for some green beer on Patrick's special day. We're living in a crazy world.  But I don't want to think about the madness right now. Not right now.

Today's officially a day off, a pause in the daily occupation of watching the world go nuts.

I'm not a beer drinker, and won't be going to any of the bars....I may have a small shot of bourbon after dinner. That's plenty for me these days. Hangovers are a lot harder on the body as we age....I don't need the hassle. I hate the "Unremembories," those times when you remember you don't remember...UGH!

In the old days, I'd have imbibed enough to knock out a sailor, but don't see a need for that sort of thing right now.  Perhaps some day in the future I'll tie one on again, but not now. I'm not knocking it....hey! Once in a while I have a few, but I'm not obsessed. I've put some distance between the bottle and it's power over me and have come to a very simple realization:
There's more to life, and more to being Irish, than getting tanked.

For today, Fifty five Is The New St. Pat's

Governmentalism

Between the wars and the economy, the polar ice caps melting and the growing schism between the haves and the have-nots, the world is spinning wild. One wonders sometimes if we as a species are meant to survive, or if this is the death throes of the contemporary dinosaur.

Not so far fetched if you consider the endings of other great empires.....Rome comes to mind, but it is not the only one.

Some delight in the idea of America falling to its knees....some are even consciously working on its destruction, claiming they are trying to make things better.  They say that socialism is the only way.

I disagree.  I think there is a way to blend social consciousness and individual abilities without arriving at tyranny....but pure socialism has never worked. I don't think we really have a handle on that kind of absolute power over others without it corrupting the governing body.

Perhaps I am wrong, but history isn't.

Most of my liberal friends think I'm a traitor.  Fine.  But I can't lie about how I feel.  I hope and pray there is

Anyway....for today, Fifty Five Is The New Governmentalism....changes are coming, let's hope they're for the better.

Preparedness

Fifty five, fifty five...here I am, I'm still alive.

 Looking at the world these days, who knew any of us would last this long?  And who knows what's going to happen tomorrow?

View From Our Studio

A funny thing has taken place inside of me....I'm more watchful, like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop or something.  The earthquake in Japan stirred something in my innards that I just can't get rid of or ignore.  I'm having an even harder time getting to sleep, and when I do sleep there are sometimes dreams, strange dreams of water coming over walls and buildings crumbling.

Some may think that's just so much drama, but San Francisco residents take seismic events personal.
I know our city is somewhat prepared for the inevitable.  My hope is that politics hasn't made for cutting corners and accepting lower standards.

On the plus side, our city has NERT....if it hasn't been defunded.

We've been preparing for a while already....emergency water, food stashed.  We could be better at it, although I am glad to report we have some brand new flashlights. But I need to replenish our First Aid Kit and make sure I have plenty of emergency things for Wylie our kitty.  Then I'll feel better.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Preparedness....something we need to acknowledge, accept and practice every day, because everything depends on it.  Including our own lives.

Japan and the world

Rough Road Sign - "You Drive"

We sit in utter horror after utter horror over the past several days; watching as Japan is laid siege under the forces of nature and their consequences.

Latest reports are that the earthquake registered 9.0, the earth shifted 10 cm on its axis, a very wide and deep trench opened up in the earth near Japan, minimal 10,000 people died in the tsunami alone, and their nuclear power plants are in failure.

At this point, a nuclear melt down is just about eminent after loosing power to the cooling mechanisms were destroyed in the tsunami following the earthquake.

We are, as a planet, dangling by a thin, thin thread.

Prayer is a good thing.

It helps keep some of us going when all else is madness and terror.
I pray for comfort, help, hope and peace for those people in Japan.....that their troubles lessen and that the meltdown can be averted or at least kept to a minimum level of damage.

I pray that we as a species learn to treat each other right; stop using politics as a means to deny personal responsibility and that we help one another through the difficult times ahead.  For indeed there are difficult times ahead as planetary changes take place.

We can live in denial a long, long time....humans are actually pretty good at it!  One of our best talents.  But sometimes it's just not the right thing to do.

Preparation is important. Anybody who doesn't know what to do can go to places like 72hours.com for what to do....check local areas for something like NERT (Neighborhood Emergency Response Team), and just plain get out and get to know your neighbors....someday you-all are gonna have a lot in common-like survival.  Might not hurt to say "howdy" now and then, eh?

This isn't just about earthquakes and tsunamis.....it's abut any disasters, natural or otherwise, and how to stay alive 'til the dust settles.

For now, we sit on the head of a pin as revolution and planetary revolt hold court....watching and wondering what's next.

So at the moment Fifty Five Is The New Japan and the world, because nothing is ever going to be the same now....

56

Just realized in about a month I'll be fifty-six and this blog will be a little over a year old. What does it all mean? Did I learn anything more by keeping a journal of my thoughts?  I think so.

Do I plan on keeping up on the blog?  Don't know. Possibly I'll retire the "Fifty Five" theme and start another one. If so, I'll probably save these entries to an archive....maybe even print them.

It's funny...considering my history there was every possibility this project could have fallen by the wayside like many others that were picked up enthusiastically then discarded.
So far, so good on this one.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New 56, right around the corner.

Great Hope

Chaos and Sense  rcw

This planet is in a state of chaos, from the creatures on its surface to the very innards of its being. I believe that the two are intrinsically related...that the unrest we are experiencing within our selves is part of the same energy stream that's making the Earth shutter and transform.

Because that is what's happening to us, as well.  We are shuttering and transforming, too

As a nation, we are being forced to re-examine ourselves to the very core, our foibles laid bare on the global stage  - our hypocrisy revealed.  What we do now in our relationships with Egypt, Libya, Iran and so on must speak for who we truly are as a people, as opposed of what we hope to get out of them.

America is a great country.  We were established in good soil, by a group of individuals who saw first hand what it was like to live under tyranny. They literally fought to establish these United States based on the fundamental belief that people are born with "certain inalienable rights."

Do we really understand what that term means?

It means these rights are not able to be withdrawn or alienated from their owners, us.....people....human beings...citizens of the world. We are not permitted to do the things we do to one another as a species on a daily basis; but we continue to do these things anyway.

Why is America hated so much?  Simple.  We set our own standards in our founding documents, then found a way to debase them.  The great hope turned to the great hypocrite, preferring political gains over human rights.

And we wonder why we're targeted and derided...even by some of our own citizenry.

We have to change our course now, or the American Experiment will surely pass into legend with a single, exhausted gasp.

I believe we have a greater destiny than that....if we only have the courage to try.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Great Hope....the hope of change...for the better.

Update on Japan's Earthquake:
Japan's coastline moved by 13 feet, shifted Earth on its axis, nuclear power plant(s) damaged.

Earthquake in Japan

e Japanese Earthquake 3/11/2011  UPI

An 8.5 earthquake struck Japan, and with it several horrific aftershocks and Tsunami activity with 35 foot waves.  Gia is truly waking up in a nasty mood!

Oh those poor people!  News is coming in, severe damage....fires...lost lives.....there's little defense against such forces of nature.  The best anyone can do is be prepared, try not to panic and do the best ya can.

I'll keep this writing short; want to concentrate on what's going on, say a few prayers and watch the events unfold.

So for tonight, sending prayers for Japan, Fifty Five Is the New Earthquake in Japan; with an eye toward the fact that California is scheduled for a big one too.

UPDATE: 3/11/2011 10:00 AM Pacific Time
Quake upgraded to 9.0, aftershocks continue, most ranging in the 7.0 + magnitude.
Tsunami hit Hawaii during early part of morning (around 3 AM), is engaging the California coastline presently.  Santa Cruz, other vulnerable areas sustaining damage.  San Francisco so far okay.

Patience

It's very late/early, usual story for me.  Insomnia can be a good thing; an opportunity to use special pockets of time when no body else is awake.   Time to create, to envision, to make magic.

Us in the studio

That's when I do most of my writing...when I can be totally naked on the page, not plagued by phone calls or chores.   Music is a little more difficult because it wakes people up.  I don't sing soft.  I'd like to sound proof our studio so that time isn't an issue anymore.  Perhaps some day we can.

It's important to have the proper tools to use one's talents efficiently and correctly.  We've come a long way from the little cassette tape recorder we used to use.  For that I am eternally grateful! Our current recording configuration is the best to date, easy to use, portable-including a battery option....just perfect.

Just got to use it more often.  Figuring out how to make things more sound proof will help for the late night usage.

Jack's been sick lately so he's not been interested in playing music.  Poor guy.  Says he's frustrated, and I sure know how he feels.

Isn't it funny how sometimes when we get what we desire, we're not given the opportunity to do what we want with it?  Perhaps that's how we're kept humble?  I don't know.

We'll get back to it soon.  Besides, my problems are tiny considering what else is going on in the world.

With that in mind.....for now Fifty Five Is the New Patience....I'm trying hard to master it.

Discovery

The Good Ship Discovery-USA's Space Shuttle

The great space shuttle Discovery landed for its last time at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida at approximately 12:00 PM east coast time.

This good ship served our nation through the years, including our returns to space after both shuttle disasters.  In truth, Discover was the most flown shuttle in the fleet.

This program is being cut by NASA.  I understand the need for us to be careful with our finances, but question the sanity of axing space programs.  Unless of course they're going to do something else instead.

And what could that be?  Mission to Mars?  Putting a station on the Moon?  Both these things need to happen. We also need to explore things like suspended animation for light-year travel.

Of course we have problems here on Earth that require our attention, but we shouldn't ignore the fact that the space program has been essential in our technological advances....and that many of these advances have brought about changes in the way we do things here on the third rock from the sun.  Things like computers, solar energy, batteries.....not to mention advances in medicine.....these things wouldn't have happened if we hadn't gone to space.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Discovery....the space ship and its' fleet's mission, a standing ovation for a job well done and a fervent prayer that we keep some version of a space program going.

Solution

Sometimes we gotta do what we don't wanna do.  That's life.

Lilith Dance  by rcw

We've all got to tighten our belts here on the homefront....our country's fiscal health is on life support and it's up to us to change things.

Although I am worried that my own life may be changed drastically if certain things are cut, I am at the same time willing to make some sacrifices on behalf of keeping our country afloat.  I am on SSI due to my disabilities.

Now I am more than willing to find work, have even tried several times through the years to secure gainful employment, but so far no luck.  Volunteering doesn't pay.  Being poor sucks, but there are people poorer  out there....so there's a lot of gratitude for what we have.

So I continue with what I know to do...stock up on foodstuff, repair things rather than replace them when possible and look for other ways to save money.  Another thing to do, keep the faith.  Believe that there are better days ahead....why?  Because that's the only way to make it happen.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Solution....positive thinking and positive action. The only way to fly.

Kicking Back

Stowe Lake Golden Gate Park  rcw

Let's see...there's violence in the streets of Islam....the economy's in the hopper and labor unions are all stirred up.

What to do? What to do?  What to do?

Personally, I'm going to think about the simple things in life for a few moments; unwind a little from the big spin and feel good.

It's okay that it's raining; memories are great for rainstorms! We're supposed to take time away from all the craziness once in a while.

It's fairly easy to do...just turn of the t.v., unplug the phone and let life whisper sweet nothings in your ear for a couple of hours!

Some people don't know how to unwind; I used to be like that.  Now I revel in it! There's nothing like the chance to feel the breezes blow and watch the grasses grow! 

Right now I'm watching the rain through our window....the cat's watching the rain as well from the corner of his eye.  He likes to play indifferent.  He's good at it.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Kicking Back, because that sometimes the best thing to do.

Appreciation

A street in North Beach  by rcw

The world is going crazy so I'm going to think about something else for a few moments.

Something like one of my favorite things.
My home.

I love North Beach!

It's that perfect mixture of cultures and people.  It's where the very-very get to rub shoulders with the not-so-much, and where a person can still sit at an outdoor cafe, sip wine while watching the world go by.

I want to save up a few pennies and sit outside the Mona Lisa or Caffe Greco for a couple of hours, just sipping on a glass of wine and seeing what happens.

I had the chance to do that a few years back and it was a lot of fun. People we didn't even know stopped by to chat...we ended up with a few tables full of folks, all talking about their home towns, the opera, politics...whatever.   I think we even helped bring some business to the place by sitting there having a good time, because the manager came out and gave my friend and I a complimentary wine and even a small appetizer.  Gee....it pays to have fun!

North Beach is like that.  Given the chance, magic can happen and usually does.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Appreciation...for the simple things in life; a good home, a great neighborhood and good times.

Neighbors

Moonscape   rcw

Our galaxy, spinning out in space with countless others....I wonder how many other planets sustain life; life as THEY know it as opposed to what we have the audacity to claim as "life."

It doesn't have to be base in carbon, doesn't even need water...it just has to be on its own terms.

I wonder who might be out there, if they're wondering the same things...dreaming of traveling, of finding out what lies beyond their own galaxy's boundaries.  Will our progeny meet? Will they find a way to live in harmony, improve each others' lot and make the universe a better place to live?

What is evident is that life is curious...how so?  By virtue of its own existence, its insistence on surviving - through evolution and adaptation...there's gotta be a hunger to know what lies beyond the moment and .curiosity is the first teacher.

The universe is amazing, but it is not alone. There's more than one...to me they are as countless as eternity.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Neighbors, our friends out there in space....howdy thar, y'all!

Budget

Purple Tile Design...by rcw

Been dealing with the Social Security Office lately; being disabled doesn't mean you don't work...it just means you don't really get paid for it. So needless to say we're not exactly rolling in the dough.

Life is tight so we're very careful. Every day prices are going up and our money stays the same. Sounds like that all over the place, and not just for us folks on SSI or Disability. 





Anyway, I spent the better part of the morning at Social Security so will keep this entry brief.


For today, Fifty Five Is The New Budget...same as the old budget-YIKES!

Operating System Blues

Rough Road-Ops Sys Blues

Music is at a standstill right now, Jack's not feeling well.  So I'm getting caught up with some other work; which is good.  Been having some trouble with the computer-the Mac, believe it or not!  Wouldn't you know it, the iMovie 09 program is getting glitchy!  Ugh!

We've come to depend on it so much because it's just a quick little program for getting video product out and online quickly with minimal muss or fuss.  Or so I thought!  Everyone keeps touting about the ease of use of the Mac computers, but hey!  They have the same problems as the IBM; except it's harder to do the systems work on a Mac!  Ugh again!

Oh well, the rest of the computer is okay so far....but gee whiz! Back to the IBM movie making programs until we can get iMovie working right.

For now, Fifty Five Is The New Operating System Blues....Mac or IBM or whatever - they still happen, regardless of advertisements!

Tempest In A Teacup

The world is a changing place indeed...to be alive right now is to be truly part of a history which will be written, studied, analyzed and rehashed over and over again.

Some wonder why Americans are hated so much.  I'm glad that there are elected officials and others who are citing our nation's hypocrisy as the real reason we're targeted by so many.  Boy are they right!

How can we give nations "Most Favored Status" if they are still abusing their citizens?  How can we do that?   Our nation has pretty founding documents with wonderful words written on them, but they aren't worth half of the paper they're written on if we don't live by them.

I hope we can stop this behavior, get back on the right track and start being real now.  Perhaps doing that we can put a stop to all this violence and jihad.

For today, Fifty Five Is The New Tempest In A Teacup, spinning 'round and 'round like a Disney ride....hoping not to get seasick before the ride"s over.

Warm and Fuzzy

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
It's absolutely COLD, even in the house!  Now this is winter weather!  Not quite the cold like we have back east, but it'll do for a memory.

What I love most is the smell in the air-first thing you get is a trace of something brought down from the mountains; must be snow.  I can close my eyes and remember that unique, sifting sound as flurries and flakes fell around us on our way home from midnight mass.  My mom, sister, brothers and I walked that night because the snow was so deep.

We threw a few snowballs, made snow angels and were pretty much soaked and frozen when we got home.  Hot chocolate and home made Christmas cookies soon had us warm once more.

I know the world is going through a million changes; some good, some maybe not so good.  I acknowledge the times in which we live but tonight I just want to think about something different, something comforting, like making snow angels and drinking hot chocolate.

So for today, Fifty Five Is The New Warm and Fuzzy, because sometimes that's what's needed most...a chance to snuggle deep inside a favorite blanket....safe.....warm.

Long Live the SFPC

Front Entrance, San Francisco Patients' Cooperative

 1999-2008

2/28/2011....two years ago was the day before the closing of 350 Divisadero Street's lifetime as the San Francisco Patients' Cooperative.  Our very last day was February 29, 2008; a leap year and somehow very appropriate.

SFPRC Original Logos

       It truly was a leap year, in a lot of ways for a very large number of people, displaced by the ending of the Co-Op.  They are, all of them, in my prayers daily and memories often.
      
I was an emotional wreck at the time; between all the hoop jumping for the MCD permit, fed threats and finances, my dearest friend (and soul sister) Diane dying before us after a 13 year battle with Ovarian Cancer and such...there wasn't a lot left of me but the bones!
To add spice to the dish, some of my old mental problems and demons were trying to kick into gear.
Fantastic.  Just call me the White-Knuckle Kid.

SFPC Staff circa 2005

 Between the absolutely wonderful, dedicated and courageous staff....blessed ones all, and of course the compassionate and unbelievably beautiful support of private contributors and charitable organizations the Co-Op managed to get permits filed, stave off a few wolves, feed the hungry, distribute hugs, pray at 420, clothe the naked, make medicine available to qualified patients as per Prop 215, SB 420, both the Federal and California Palliative Patient Care Act, the Peron Defense, the Trippet Defense,
et al...... and live to fight another day.

And we did just that.

Some of the faces changed through the years, but every person who passed through those doors as members of staff and/or management brought their hearts to the task and included compassion for the patients as part of their motivation.

The Co-Op lasted from August 24, 1999 through February 29, 2008 and for all it's faults, was still true to its mission of Compassion, Hospitality and Service.

Party circa 2005

Our landlord received a letter from the federal government threatening them with property forfeiture, fines and/or imprisonment if they didn't make us leave the building and/or stop our work relating to medical cannabis.   We tried to figure out some way to keep at least the patients' activities going along side some sort of retail (gift shop kind of thing), but there wasn't enough time or money around to do it, so the doors closed to the public that night at 10:00 pm (or thereabouts) after we decommissioned the chapel and had one heck of a party.

Earthquake Drill

I didn't want it to end....wanted it to expand into having the entire Medical Cannabis Community's  participation-including operations.  It would have been tremendous. I'd have gladly turned it over to a group consisting of the Co-Op's root members-a/k/a staff and representatives from various segments of San Francisco's MCC so a true Medical Cannabis Community Center could be created.

That was my prayer. Still is my prayer; that some day such a thing be built...a real live Medical Cannabis Community Center.  Just like all the other communities out there have.  A place of our own to house our history, work on our future, and serve one another.

Memorial Garden and Patio

So in this strange pocket of time when, much like Brigadoon, tomorrow isn't tomorrow until next time 'round, we pause and remember the everything that was 350 Divisadero Street from 1999 through 2/29/2008, including the Staff and Patients and Supporters, the parties, the groups- AA, Harm Reduction, Peer Counseling, Men's Group, Women's Group (Ya Ya), Writer's Group, Weekly Earthquake Drills, Vet's Group, Bingo, 420, 5:01, Guitar Workshop, Open Mic, the Memorial Garden and Services, the Food Pantry, monthly Open House, Voter's Workshop, ....and so much more.

 

Long live the San Francisco Patients' Cooperative.
Long live Compassion, Hospitality and Service